"Lick my butt dust, honky!," Selena shouted at the shop owner.  

"I warned you never to step foot in my store again!"  

"Mark that under who gives a shit!  These doritos are for my sick madre."

"No.  They're for customers WHO PAY ME FOR THEM."  

His hands disappeared from her sight, slipping below the counter.  

"Well you'd better call your Lays rep and inquire about a reorder, because you're going to be down a few bags in a few moments when I walk the fuck out of here."

"Like hell I am."

He pulled out the shotgun.  

"Oh look, ole eggplant for brains has a gun.  Is it loaded?"

He cocked the gun back.  

"You'll find out in a minute, Suzie Q Cool Ranch."

Selena extended her pointer finger in the air.

"Pew, Pew, Pew.  It's World War Frito.  I'm General Pringles.  Who are you, old man?"

"I'm Commander Cheeto, and youre gonna die."  

"Sounds like funyun."  


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