5.25.2010

Boner Slap! A game by Michael Conti!

It may tkae me a few mnitues to rmemebr how to tpye! I hvan'et blgoged in so so lnog. My fngires frogot waht to do. Cmoe on Cnoti...you can do tihs.

HAHAHA! What a funny joke. "EVERYONE QUICK, COME TO THE COMPUTER! CONTI IS PRETENDING LIKE HE DOESN'T REMEMBER HOW TO TYPE! HE'S BACK! HE IS SO BACK, YOU GUYS!"

CONTI IS BACK! I invented a game called "Boner Slap!", but sadly the Milton Bradley organization was not interested. The game involves dice, chance, prizes, and penis. I'm not sure why they turned it down. Listen Milt, we're in a housing recession. No one wants to play Monopoly with those high rents and bank loans. Americans want to slap boners. We're still at war, Milt. Sinking ships in Battleship is wildly inapporpriate. Americans want to slap boners. Yahtzee sounds German or Jewish or something. Americans want to slap boners. Boner Slap! A game by Michael Conti!

Are you guys doing one thing everyday that scares you? There's a song that says you should do something everyday that scares you. Do you guys listen to songs? I do. I like listening to informative songs and then following out their instructions. Yesterday I swallowed a spider. Today I'm planning on riding my bike near a bunch of sharp spikes. Tomorrow I'll play Boner Slap! with some construction workers. Thursday I'll punt a glass football without any shoes or socks. Do Something Everyday That Scares You! A song by Baz Luhrmann!

Love scares a lot of people. Are you in love, reader? Probably not. Oh sure, you think you're in love. But truthfully, whoever you're in love with isn't as good as Michael Conti. He or she doesn't have my pizzazz. Your bones are lying to you, reader. What you really want is someone who makes really great laser comb videos. Your body is aching for someone who writes academic papers about fantasy sports. Your soul yearns for a lover with innovative board game ideas. Boner Slap! A game for lovers!

"HEY GUYS, ARE YOU READING THIS? CONTI IS TYING ALL HIS PARAGRAPHS BACK TO BONER SLAP. THAT'S A NEAT WRITING TECHNIQUE. YOU GUYS READING THIS?"

Gosh, I forgot how great of a writer I am. I am writing the fuck out of this blog. I could mention just about anything right now and you'd be on-board with it. Let's get super-duper odd with it:

The Tamarin monkey pointed at the scientist, and then at a loaf of the bread.

"Did you see that, Timmington? I think the monkey wants me to bring him some bread!" said Johnston, head scientist.

"These monkey's are learning to communicate," said Timmington, assistant scientist.

Johnston brought the Tamarin monkey the bread. The Tamarin monkey ate the bread quickly.

"It seems he enjoyed that bread," Timmington said when Johnston returned from the feeding.

"You're right! What a break-thru!" Johnston replied. "Let's go to Chili's and celebrate!"

Johnston and Timmington drove to Chili's in seperate cars, parking towards the rear of the restaurant.

"Let's order the bottomless nachos and the southwest eggrolls!" cried Johnston.

"Two appetizers?!?" replied Timmington.

"We deserve it, bro! Let's celebrate!"

"Haha if you say so, boss."

Timmington and Johnston ate appetizers, drank margaritas, and celebrated their day. Johnston even attempted to hit on their waitress, but she was happily engaged. Timmington insisted that the check be split, even though Johnston offered to pick up the entire tab. The two had a great time, even grabbing an improper amount of mints as they left. Back at the science monkey lab, however: death. You see, Tamarin monkies shouldn't eat bread. Tamarin monkeys should eat grapes, seeds, insects, and small reptiles. The monkey science lab fired Timmington and Johnston the next day. Very discouraged and unemployed, the two struggled to find enjoyment. That is, until they found a new board game to keep them busy. Boner Slap! A game by Michael Conti!

5 comments:

Tim said...

Thank you so much for your good post. Your post helped me in my college assignment, If you can provide me more details please email me.

emertron said...

Boner Slap while listening to Boner Jamz.

Anonymous said...

Appreciate such an excellent publish that helped me to along the route, We are pleased for the labor in researching along with scripting this article

Anonymous said...

Very useful content. Furthermore I really mean it all

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.001casino.com/]casino[/url] coincide the latest [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com/]casino online[/url] free no deposit hand-out at the foremost [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]casino perk
[/url].