I ate a turkey leg for breakfast. It was a terrible idea. No wonder the fucking Vikings are extinct. You can't conquer shit when you feel like an asshole from eating turkey so early in the morning. It was equally as miserable as when I went to a summer camp when I was 12 and we had spaghetti for breakfast on Backwards Day.
The turkey leg wasn't even the worst part. I tried to compliment eating a turkey leg by eating green beans with it. Might as well go for it, right? I only had a family pack of green beans though. So here I am, at 9am, eating a shitload of green beans and a turkey leg. I felt miserable all day. That's what I get for having sex in Pittsburgh.
I'm going to try to get readership up now, by mentioning juicy celebrity gossip that this country can't seem to get enough of. KING ARTHUR WAS A NAZI! VINNY DEL NEGRO MARRIED A MIDGET! HENRY FORD COULD DUNK A BASKETBALL! TOMMY LASORDA MISTREATS HIS GOLDFISH!!!
That should get the readership up. WHO ARE YOU KIDDING, KID? If you want other people to read your blog, you have to comment on theirs. But the problem is, I don't like reading other blogs. The other blogs are boring. My blog is my favorite blog in the entire world. I guess what I'm trying to say to you, is...I don't care about you, internet. I only care about me.
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