He is an incredibly funny dude. Here is our text message exchange that happened this morning:
I want to eat a grilled cheese sandwich with you at noon.
I want to paint a cougar petting a squirrel on your back with the menstrual blood of a Ukranian virgin.
I want to drink champagne with your cousins and tell stories of your glory.
I want to buy a trailer next to your mansion and serve you pancakes for brunch.
I want to feed oats to your steed and cheer you on as you joust against an eveil knight.
I want to dip my toes in melted apple butter and picture you running a half-marathon.
I want to watch you floss while we gossip about celebrities.
Read him, people.