Children Bleeding

Probably my biggest regret growing up was that I didn't beat up enough punks. I was a timid child, and never really punched the hell out of a punk and his face. When I was 16, my first job was at Laser Zone. Some punk kid co-worker of mine kept on telling me about how he could race Dodge Vipers with his old truck. "I added to the engine. My truck is so fast," he would say. He would tell me about how he was from a bad area and blah blah blah. I could have easily beaten that guy up. His body was small, and his eyes looked like they would bleed easily. I should have just punched that kid in the dark laser arena.

Maybe those regrets are why I made a few kids bleed this summer. Please remember, I am 25 and strong. Have you seen that calf muscle down there, below this post? Jeez that's muscle.

G-Berg is an athletic 13-year-old girl. She runs everyday and is as good or better than the boys at every single sport. It was the first day of Second Session, and a lot of the kids were playing a game of dodgeball. G-Berg was dominating. She was all over the floor...catching balls and nailing kids out. Her side won the first game in a landslide. To even things up a bit...I decided I would join in.

"GO FOR G-BERG! GO FOR G-BERG!" I shouted. But like anything in life, if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. I picked up a red ball and (remember I played 3rd base in little league) whizzed it towards G-Berg.

I immediately cringed when I saw the result. I drilled her right in the face. Her nose started to bleed and I felt like a horrible monster.

G-Berg was a trooper...said it was no big deal as she dripped blood to the nurse. I bought her a Diet Coke later in the day...so I think we're good now. Nice to meet you Second Session, my name is Michael Conti. If you play with me, you will bleed. Good start Conti, good start.

The second kid I made bleed was Ian. Ian is 9 and asks a lot of questions. He's a cute kid, but can get annoying. One night we were playing a game of ultimate frisbee. A lot of counselors and admin were playing, so it was a very intense game. Ian came up to me 4 or 5 times saying: "Conti why won't you pass to me or the other kids? You're only passing to counselors."

I couldn't tell the truth and say "Well Ian, I want to win. And you kids suck at this compared to me." So I told him: "Alright I'll look for you...I'll look for you." Eventually my competitiveness eased up, and I remembered that camp was for kids, and not me. I got the frisbee near our own goal, and specifically looked for Ian. He was open, and I threw the frisbee right at him.

The frisbee hit off the top of his fingers, and went straight into his mouth. He started crying when he realized his teeth were bleeding. I felt pretty horrible, because I'm pretty sure he thought I initially drilled him. My b, Ian, my b.

So anyways I'm good now...I don't feel the need to make a child bleed anymore. Two was plenty for the summer.


emertron said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
emertron said...

Did the parents sue you?

L'Austin Translation said...

You're such a badass. Hee!

Tim said...

Did your black panther or snake bite any kids?

pbdotc said...

i took down one (1) punk back in my day. he thought he was a tough guy so i kicked him in the face and put him in the yoke in the kitchen at roy rogers. i took a lot of tae kwon do.

that said, i'm still largely a wuss myself. but it's like you said ... some of 'em are too tempting to leave off.

House of Suz said...

A bleeding kid is a happy kid, at least my dad always said so.

Welcome back.

*la**loca** said...

i make kids bleed too!

i kicked a kid in the face. i was trying to teach my yoga kids class to do headstands. as i kicked, full force, into the headstand, my heel connected with his jaw.

he landed flat on his back. his lip was bloody.

my bad.

Melissa said...

Ten bucks G-Berg comes out to her family in two years and Ian will be a CS nerd in college. TEN bucks

Gina said...

aww g-berg was my FAVORITE!

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