5.29.2007

Duke

I almost forgot. The schools almost brainwashed me. For the last 25 years I thought that American Indians were my friends. But this weekend I was reminded otherwise. John Wayne was FURIOUS and a MAN. And he hated the Commanche.



WANT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, DRAW YOU A PICTURE?

I watched The Searchers today, and IT WAS AWESOME. John Wayne is my hero. He shot a dead Indian's eyes out. He called someone a "blanket-head." He tried to shoot his niece because she turned Commanche. He revenge-scalped an Indian. The only time he laughed was when his partner (whom he hated) accidently bought a fat Indian wife. He shot buffalo for fun. He got impatient and yelled at a funeral. He shoved a woman when she tried to watch a fistfight.

If you haven't watched this movie then you're not American. I just became an American today, because I watched. Otherwise you're a Commanche. And a blankethead.

Me...help you?

THAT'LL BE THE DAY.

7 comments:

Melissa said...

You seriously just gained about a hundred sexy points.Sure you don't want to move back to Austin?

Variant E said...

I once played Indian Poker, does that count?

Ajax said...

That movie looks awesome.

Christine said...

I want to give you a bite of this chocolate chip cookie that was so good.

fathorse said...

HA! I love those movies. I also love this blog. You've got a wonderful way with words :)

Mike said...

Hey. I'm from the sand-choked desert of Arizona too.

the wayward o said...

i've never been in a desert that wasn't sand-choked