I took a job working for a CPA through the tax season. It's perfect because the gig runs through April, which is when I'll hear back from film schools. If I get good news, I'll be able to take off to whatever school I choose. If school doesn't work out, I'll be able to look for a career job without breaking any commitments.
My first day was last Thursday. Since CPAs are a bunch of old nerds, I walked in like I owned the place.
"The Alpha is here," I said, as I swung open the office doors. "I don't have to wear a pocket protector or anything, do I?"
After a few minutes of dazzling the receptionist, I was introduced to the rest of the office. I was 6 or 7 people in when I realized something was wrong.
"Wait a minute. These are my co-workers? Where are the hotties?"
"The hotties! You know, the babes. The chicks. The puss!"
"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."
"My last office had hotties in it! Sexi's in their 20's, with bosoms and smiles! These people are in their 30's! What is this, eharmony? I want a hotice, not a fugice!"
"I don't...are you joking?"
"I knew I should have brought my porn posters. Arrrgghhhhhh!"
After that I was introduced to the file room, where I'll be spending 8 hours a day for the next 5 fortnights (10 weeks for all you mathless, vocabless fucks). There were about 300 folders waiting for me to file, so I jumped right in.
For some reason the files were organized alphabetically, which upon arrival I decided was not efficient. So I took initiative, and reorganized the whole room. Instead of the alphabet, I organized files according to Initial Appearance Importance Assesment (the IAIA system). I threw out over 200 files that looked unimportant or unlucky. The rest were mixed and mashed into boxes, crates, and "hidden zones". It was a tough assignment, but I wanted to show those CPAs that I was a go-getter.
Another aspect of my job is shredding. I sit in a chair and feed millions of sheets into a paper shredder. While I find filing tedious, I rather enjoy shredding. It's a lot like feeding a hungry robot. Also, I don't want any terrorist CPA's getting their hands on these documents. What if I misshred and a CPA version of Osama takes advantage? I couldn't live with that. Leave no paper behind.