Pack Your Bags

Despite my current CPA status and my future aspirations of filmmaking, I'll always be an advertiser at heart. And of course, no matter where I live or love, I'll always be a Houstonian. That's why I became quite excited when I read that the City of Houston is looking for a new advertising campaign to promote tourism. The city wants people to visit, even when they don't have too. With my ADV expertise and Houston pride, I figure I'm perfect for the job.

Now, Houston is a hard sell. It just doesn't have the attraction as other large cities like New York (shopping, shows, prostitution), Los Angeles (Hollywood, weather, prostitution), Chicago (cold prostitutes on trains), or even Texas counterparts San Antonio (Alamo prostitues) and Dallas (gay AIDS prostitution). I'd have to get creative with my approach.

Why don't more people visit this city?, I asked myself repeatedly while brainstorming. It's because they haven't heard about the city from the horse's mouth! Most tourism commercial are lame pictures of city landscapes and dopey smiley familes. Let's get honest! Put me in front of a camera and let me work.

Here's the campaign I came up with:

Hi, I'm Michael Conti, a proud Houstonian. Do you like strip clubs, rap music, or cowboy rodeos? (pause) What about outer space exploration? If yes, to any, then visiting Houston may be for you. (firm point at camera) Visit Houston...Why Not?

Hi, I'm Michael Conti, a proud Houstonian. Are you tired of small town living? Annoying roosters and unimportant farms? Why not visit Houston...It's huge! (pause) Seriously, it's a huge city (hold up hands to show large size, like a fish story) Huge. Visit Houston...Why Not?

Hi, I'm Michael Conti, a proud Houstonian. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant? Oh, you have? (look of sadness) Well have you ever eaten at a GREAT restaurant? Oh really, you have? (look of slight frustration) Well have you ever eaten at a great restaurant in Houston? (pause) Ahh-Ha! (look of satisfaction) Visit Houston...Why Not?

I'd audio blog these for ear stimuli, but apparently audioblogging is no more. You'll have you use your mind to visualize these until the city okay's the campaign and we film the thing. Can't wait to see you here!


kemrit said...

how about just saying that it's reason enough to visit houston because it's not san antonio or dallas? that's enough of a reason for me to visit, if i weren't already a little suspcious of the entire state of texas.

i'd come if you people switched to using tranquilizer guns instead of real guns. and remind me of why it is that you people can't let the alamo go already. i mean what are you, new hampshire?

Tim said...

You need to incorporate a see ya! Like "visit Houston... why not? Seee ya there!

Ajax said...

You had me at "ZZ Top".

Variant E said...

How about the old Officer and a Gentleman line..."Only two things come from Houston: Steers and Queers. I don't see no horns on you..."

emertron said...

I dated a guy from Houston (who, turns out, was a total turd). So I vowed never to go there. But after reading this, you just changed my mind.

Btw, I might have to go to a conference in Dallas next month. Wanna get drunk with some Adminitrators?

House of Suz said...

How about this:
"Want to feel like you need a shower the first step out the door in the morning? Then visit balmy Houston! Michael Conti says 'ya'll come!'"

Mike said...

Houston has 20% fewer biting insects than Dallas or San Antonio. You should work that in.

Mike said...

Houston has 20% fewer biting insects than Dallas or San Antonio. You should work that in.

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