Cocky Shopkeeps

I hate cocky shopkeeps, with their "Smile! You're on Camera!" signs. I'm not going to steal your shit, you cocky shopkeep. You probably don't even have a camera, asshole. You just think you're smarter than your customers.

"I know. I'll put this sign up, and everyone will THINK I have hidden cameras looking for shoplifters. This idea will keep theft down, AND save me from buying an expensive camera system."

What an asshole shopkeeper. Those signs make me want to steal from your shop, shopkeep. Smile! :) I'm about to rob your place. You cocky shopkeep, you.


Variant E said...

The irony of it all is that most shoplifters probably cannot read anyway...

Ajax said...

I hate shoppy cockkeeps.

Anonymous said...

shlocky cockpeeps - ooo I better stop shop liftiing
I have warned-been-fore

Christine said...

I stole a pack of Grape Bubbalicious when I was 6 and my dad spanked my bum.

Don't shoplift with your dad.

Melissa said...

I was really bored and looked up "Mike Conti" on MySpace and it turns out there's a 24yr old Mike Conti in Austin. I bet he moved here when he found out you had moved back home and he wanted to fill the Mike Conti void.

starlet said...

at my gas station they print out pictures of the shoplifters and post them on the door with a note like THIS GUY STEALS CANDY! And it is always some guy who looks exactly like you.

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