Holy shit tomorrow is my birthday and it's cold outside. Of course my birthday would be the one day of the year where it's below freezing and sleeting. Everyone is saying to wrap your pipes and stay indoors. Why couldn't I stay in my mom's womb until March? That was a shitty infant mistake on my part.
Also tomorrow I have a job interview. The should automatically hire me because it's my birthday. Actually I should get a raise. I'm going to tell them that. Uh yeah, it's my birthday so I'm going to get hired and I also deserve a raise. Match my 401k, bitches! And where's my cake?
I am going to jump in the pool tomorrow. It will be freezing and painful, but I want to do it. Since no one will be sucking my balls, I might as well shrink them into my stomach. ADOUBLE WHAMMY!
Hey maybe tomorrow I'll join myspace and you guys can send me those really cheesy, sparkly messages saying "Happy Birthday!" with a pair of lips or a part-woman/part-butterfly clip art on it. Who I'd like to meet? Someone who hates those things as much as I do.
Clement Greenberg was born on January 16, 1906
He said: All profoundly original art looks ugly at first