1.15.2007

25 is alive

Holy shit tomorrow is my birthday and it's cold outside. Of course my birthday would be the one day of the year where it's below freezing and sleeting. Everyone is saying to wrap your pipes and stay indoors. Why couldn't I stay in my mom's womb until March? That was a shitty infant mistake on my part.

Also tomorrow I have a job interview. The should automatically hire me because it's my birthday. Actually I should get a raise. I'm going to tell them that. Uh yeah, it's my birthday so I'm going to get hired and I also deserve a raise. Match my 401k, bitches! And where's my cake?

I am going to jump in the pool tomorrow. It will be freezing and painful, but I want to do it. Since no one will be sucking my balls, I might as well shrink them into my stomach. ADOUBLE WHAMMY!

Hey maybe tomorrow I'll join myspace and you guys can send me those really cheesy, sparkly messages saying "Happy Birthday!" with a pair of lips or a part-woman/part-butterfly clip art on it. Who I'd like to meet? Someone who hates those things as much as I do.

1906
Clement Greenberg was born on January 16, 1906
He said: All profoundly original art looks ugly at first

18 comments:

Tim said...

Happy Birthday!

Ajax said...

If it wasn't for reading your blogg, I never would have remembered that today is my Mom's birthday. Thanks!

I have been trying to figure out what it is that I like about you, and now I know: you have the same birthday as my mom!

Also, happy birthday, jerk. (The jerk is for being 25 and having your whole life ahead of you).

Sorry no one is sucking on your balls today. Maybe tomorrow? I'm pretty sure no one is sucking on my mom's balls either, if that makes you feel any better.

Anonymous said...

I like to stay inside and "wrap my pipe" even when it's warm out.

Ajax said...

Oh, a job interview! I hope you get that boob watching gig.

Variant E said...

You were born in 1906? Damn your looking well preserved!

the pants said...

happy barfday!

House of Suz said...

Wow, a quarter of a century! Happy birthday, old man!

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TinaPoPo said...

Well, I can hardly follow that.

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thats kind of like the 14th which was my birthday so I told people to give me money and they did not. Instead I stole it so its pretty much the same thing.

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Ajax said...

are you 26 yet?

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