Iamnot asked me why I chose to drive a Grand Prix. Is it the great mileage? The horsepower? Good price? Haha, well, yes, those were very important vehicularly. But I think what really sold me was the bag of grenades that comes with each Grand Prix.
It's an endless bag of grenades, you know. I can throw many grenades, and yet every time I reach into the bag there is another grenade for me to throw. Once I was driving in Central Texas when I came upon a hill that I didn't feel like driving over. The driving up and then driving down is a whole to-do. I didn't feel like doing it. So I just used grenades to flatten that hill. I must have thrown 300 grenades out my window. Very rarely do I get out of the car to throw a grenade. Normally I just roll down the window and chuck. Why unbuckle and stand?
Also, the Grand Prix looks like an American "Silver Bullet." When I'm driving my Grand Prix, I often like to think that I'm driving my "Silver Bullet" through every terrorists heart. I could easily see myself racing through Afghanistan in my Grand Prix. Terrorists would be confused when they saw me in the desert. I would be listening to Tom Cochrane - Life is a Highway.
The Grand Prix also has a great sound system. It comes in handy when my hip-hop club friends and I are in the mood to SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE or SHAKE IT LIKE A SALT SHAKER.
Wouldn't it be horrible if someone came up with a song that went something like SHAKE IT LIKE AN INFANT? That's horrible. Who would sing a song like that? I wouldn't play that CD in the G-Prix, that is for sure.
Thank you for reading.