12.02.2006

More on GP

Iamnot asked me why I chose to drive a Grand Prix. Is it the great mileage? The horsepower? Good price? Haha, well, yes, those were very important vehicularly. But I think what really sold me was the bag of grenades that comes with each Grand Prix.

It's an endless bag of grenades, you know. I can throw many grenades, and yet every time I reach into the bag there is another grenade for me to throw. Once I was driving in Central Texas when I came upon a hill that I didn't feel like driving over. The driving up and then driving down is a whole to-do. I didn't feel like doing it. So I just used grenades to flatten that hill. I must have thrown 300 grenades out my window. Very rarely do I get out of the car to throw a grenade. Normally I just roll down the window and chuck. Why unbuckle and stand?

Also, the Grand Prix looks like an American "Silver Bullet." When I'm driving my Grand Prix, I often like to think that I'm driving my "Silver Bullet" through every terrorists heart. I could easily see myself racing through Afghanistan in my Grand Prix. Terrorists would be confused when they saw me in the desert. I would be listening to Tom Cochrane - Life is a Highway.

The Grand Prix also has a great sound system. It comes in handy when my hip-hop club friends and I are in the mood to SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE or SHAKE IT LIKE A SALT SHAKER.

Wouldn't it be horrible if someone came up with a song that went something like SHAKE IT LIKE AN INFANT? That's horrible. Who would sing a song like that? I wouldn't play that CD in the G-Prix, that is for sure.

Thank you for reading.

8 comments:

Melissa said...

I often see Grand Prix's (is that the correct plural form?) on 360 and imagine it's you. No, I don't have dreams about you molesting me...

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Ajax said...

Shake it like an infant! Haha.

That 'hey ya' song is my favorite hip-hop song.

Tim said...

Tom Cochrane is an American hero.

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Roonie said...

SHAKE IT LIKE AN INFANT!

You crack me up.

House of Suz said...

You're quite welcome.