9.26.2006

oops

Dear Business Leader,

I have a problem, sir, and I need your advice. Tomorrow my office is having a dinner at the president of the company's house. Today, the caterer called in and said she would not be able to cater the event because of pregnancy complications. After hearing this news, I made the remark "Good, I didn't want someone pregnant cooking dinner for us, anyways. That's gross."

For some reason, sir, the ladies of the office now hate me. It appears my remarks offended them somehow. They look at me with mean faces and speak ugly words to me. It's not that I don't like pregnant ladies. I love pregnant ladies. My own mother was once considered a 'pregnant lady.' It's just that I don't think a woman with something about to burst out of her body should be handling any food.

Is there anything I can do, sir, to repair the relationship between the chicks in the office and I?

Thank you for your response,

Co-Worker in Austin

P.S. If only there were a cooking show on television that went over topics like this.

11 comments:

Ajax said...

oh man i'm glad I don't work with any women!

Variant E said...

Do like Mel Gibson. Meet with the Pregnant mothers of America club and then start cold calling pregnant women and beg their forgiveness for your evil ways.

Rook said...

You could get them pregnant and have them cook for you. Then when they suck at cooking while you pregnant, you can tell them "See, this is what I meant."

The Prose~cuter said...

Dear Sir:

You could change your ways for one reason alone: you're wrong on this one. Women are at their best when barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. You missed out on some damn fine food.

Sincerely,

Business Leader

The Prose~cuter said...

IT'S ME IT'S ME!!!! I'M THE 51,000th VISITOR TO YOUR BLOG!!!!! WHAT A FEELING!!! THANKS CONTI!!!

emertron said...

You should have YOUR OWN cooking show & have a special segment about this type of thing in every episode.

rook said...

I reloaded your blog a few times so that the hit counter would be artificially inflated.

Rook said...

Would you please send out an official welcome to H Town for Bonzi Wells via your blog.

Thanks, and remember, asparagus and lugs are a dangerous combination.

Tim said...

chicks that get pregnant are sluts and probably have man juice all over thier hands.

Conti said...

haha good point Tim

L'Austin Translation said...

"Is there anything I can do, sir, to repair the relationship between the chicks in the office and I?"

I'd probably refrain from making out with any of them. That might lead to the knocking up part...