I had some time to burn at lunch today, so I stopped in a CVS Pharmacy to browse. Checked out the magazine rack first. J-Lo's pregnant. More like Whore-Lo. Easiest Way to Hard Abs! Swallow some rocks. 101 Ways to to Please Your Man. Don't buy ridic mags like this.
Next is the candy isle. Starbursts. Candy for sluts. Skittles. Candy for gays. Jolly Ranchers. Candy for old people. Twizzlers. Candy for boring people. Junior Mints. Candy for Lezbos. Gum. Candy for drunks.
Then I wondered over to the hair department, because I remembered I was out of hair gel. After a quick browse, I focused in on a product I haven't used before. It had a stylish bottle, inexpensive price, and said that it would give my hair that 'wet' look.
I picked up the bottle to inspect it closer. The bottle was blue, so I couldn't see the gel itself. I was curious about the gels consistency, smell, etc. So I squeezed.
I guess I have amazing hand strength, because the next thing I know a creamy white stream of gel was shooting directly at me. Insert Paris Hilton joke here. Anways, the stuff was all over me. It looked like I jacked off a horse.
For some reason I bought the shit anyways. I rather enjoyed the excitement.
That's all. I'm out.