9.29.2006

Because I care...

I'm thinking about setting up a charity because I want to give back to the community. This is how the charity will go:

-People from across the world send me pencils
-I pass out the pencils to poor kids

It's my way of giving back to the community and saying, "Hey, Michael Conti cares." It's my way of saying "Hey, I care about you poor kids and I want you poor kids to be able to write down things." It's my way of saying "Hey, I'm Michael Conti and I want you to be able to do math in school."

I guess Michael Conti just has a great heart. Michael Conti cares about the community. Michael Conti is a great guy that cares about the poor kids. Poor kids are the future, and Michael Conti knows that.

Oh and since the pencils will be new, I'll also pass out knives and razors to the kids, so they'll be able to sharpen their new pencils.

13 comments:

Variant E said...

Are you sure your not in politics?

House of Suz said...

That's using your noggin.

The Prose~cuter said...

Come to DC! You'll fit in like whoa.

Ajax said...

Oh, great, that's just what we need right now, poor people writing stuff down! It's like you're not even thinking, Michael Conti! What happens when the Great American Novel is written by a poor person? What happens then? Do you think Oprah is going to let a poor person on her show to sell their novel that was written with a Michael Conti pencil? Do you think the poor person (Dave) is going to mention how it never would have happened if Michael Conti hadn't of pencilled him 17 weeks ago?

"I never could have written Battleship Potempkin 2 if it wasn't for Conti" Dave will say. You think Oprah is going to put up with that shit? Oprah is going to take the Conti pencil and snap it in two and throw it in Dave's face! "Lets see you write a sequel to that, Dave!" she'll taunt. "I spend more on hair-care in ONE DAY than you and your pencil will ever know!"

It's okay though, it's a common mistake. Most philantropists and humanitarians forgot to measure what I like to call "the oprah impact" when they cook up their hair-brained helping schemes. If I had a dollar for all the times those non-profit yahoos told me "You were right about OI after all..." I would have enough money to buy all your pencils and save you the trouble!

The Prose~cuter said...

It's that time of year again. Conti, could you write a post about shopping for holiday presents for special someones? Thanks.

Melissa said...

I think Michael Conti is just trying to get his blog at the top of the "Michael Conti" search on Google.

elginroots said...

wait, those other contis still beat you out?

L'Austin Translation said...

Nothing says thank you like "I'll cut you with my newly sharpened pencil!"

pbdotc said...

i saw this one poor kid's blogpost and he was totally stoked about the free pencil. he's using it to hold his secondhand laptop open because the spring gave out.

Starlet said...

then you should spend billions of dollars on TV ads about what a great guy you are and run for some kind of political office!

Christine said...

Why can't everyone be as caring and as wonderful as you?!! The world would be a much better place.

Maybe next year you could hand out condoms to poor horny people.

Yessie said...

nice legs

jimh said...

Maybe you could stamp all the pencils before giving them out. They could read "Michael Conti gave you this pencil. If there's one guy who really came through for you, it's Michael Conti." Then when the pencil was worn down to a little nub, it would still say "chael Conti".