You know what would be awesome? If you, like, dipped fresh strawberries in a huge pot of melted gold. And then you went to this carnival and just gave the golden strawberries to little kids. And the kids were, like, so happy, and they always remembered it even when they grew up. And then, like, they formed the Golden Strawberry Club. And they met every week just to talk about their golden strawberries and how happy they made them.

You know what would be awesome? If there was, like, this old man who was really down on his luck. Like, his wife divorced him, his kids hated him, and he just lost his job? And then he went into this Indian casino. And, like, he gambled all day and ended up losing his life savings. But then the Indians were really nice to him, and he, like, joined their tribe? And then he found out that he was all spiritual and happier with the Indians then he was with his job and money.

You know what would be awesome? If this kid had a terrible disease. And he, like, went to this new age doctor. And the doctor told him that the cure to his terrible disease would be to eat as much spaghetti as possible. And so his mom made him a lot of spaghetti, and, like, it worked? Like the kid didn't have his disease any more.

You know what would be awesome? If I could get off of fucking work and go have some fun instead of sitting here like a dope.


el Bow said...

"If I could get off of fucking work and go have some fun instead of sitting here like a dope."

I wouldn't hold my breath. Even if you get off work, these things have a habit of following people.

Variant E said...

You know what would be awesome? If, like, every day was a weekend day and somebody just paid me to have fun all the time.

Starlet said...

actually that indian thing happened to my grandma. the same exact thing.

elginroots said...

um except if the strawberries were covered in gold you couldn't eat them which more or less makes them useless IN MY EYES at least

Ajax said...

What happens when you stop having fun even on your days off?

What happens then?

el Bow said...

MIke, go here tonight and record the show and tell me how wonderful it was:

Aug. 22 - Proletariat - Houston, TX

I can't tell you how good these guys are. If you have a chance to see them live, Mike, do it.

Conti said...

Will they be coming to Austin? I'll check them out. BTW, good to see you back in action Elbow.