7.28.2006

On Leave: CANADA

I remember one time in grade school, where my whole class watched an educational cartoon.

The cartoon was based on a busy street in New York. These two guys were having a conversation, both talking about how they didn't like the president of the US. This foreign-looking (read: brown) guy that was walking by overhears them, and runs to find a police office. He finds one, and tells him to follow.

Foreign Guy: Come quick! It was these two here! I overheard them talking bad about the president! Arrest them now!

(The 2 dudes who hate the president have total WTF? looks on their faces.)

Cop: Oh you must be new to America.

Foreign Guy: Yes, I am.

Cop: This is a free country. In America, you can say what you want. It is not against the law to disagree with the president, nor it is illegal to talk badly about him.

---

I think the message of the video that in America we have freedoms that other countries don't have. The first amendment and all that.

The message I learned, however, is that you cannot trust people from other countries. If you trust someone from another country, they WILL backstab you. If you trust someone from another country, something bad WILL happen.

So I'm going to be very cautious, as I head to Canada. Canadians are a very unusual people. A Canadian face looks so similar to that of an American. But the Canadian brain is polluted and foul. I could easily see myself being forced to defend my family on multiple occasions. Yes, between Canadians and killer whales I will have my hands full.

But I'm wise and powerful. I've been training for anything that disobeys my honor. Shield, and protect. Shield, and protect. Duck, punch, twist, stab. Duck, swing, headbutt, elbow. Kick, kick, turn, duck, shoot. Oh yes, I am ready.

So anyways I'm going to be gone for a full week. I'll try and bust out an audioblog or two, but for the most part I'll be blogsilent. But I shall return!

Have a good one!

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! I am so surprised. There is nothing about urine! You almost sounded normal at the beginning of this blogging BUT then you started bad mouthing people so I realized I was definatley reading your blog. You should move to Canada becuase your brain is way more polluted and foul than that of a Canadian! Hope you have a horrible time while your gone!

Conti said...

Anonymous- Fuck off! I urined in your mothers mouth. I'm better than you in every single way. Quit reading my blog. Thanks!

Da Rookizlle said...

Dont forget to let your shoulder lean Mike. Also, watch out for Mounty's, those fucks. Don't forget the bear meat.

Ajax said...

Oh man. Well, it was nice knowing you.

Christine said...

Wow your blog is so popular now. I can't wait until I get haters. I hope mine are a bit more intelligent.

*definitely

We are a weird people. I wouldn't trust us! Have a wicked time, make out with a Canadian hottie.

Muah!

jimh said...

73% of the world's hottest girls live in Canada! It's true, I know that from reading blogs. But watch out, because if you get arrested, you're fucked. If you saw "Midnight Express", Canada's prisons make Turkish prisons look like state-funded day care! Have fun!

elginroots said...

where in canada?

Variant E said...

We forwarded your blog post to all the border guard stations just for fun. Good luck on your return!

Anonymous said...

Fuck You Conti!!! I can read your blog any Damn Time I want!!! Obviously if you left a comment like you did to me I must have gotten under your skin. I succeeded!!!! YEA!!!

House of Suz said...

I'm going to Canada this coming weekend and I hear it's not a very big country---not like the good ol' freedom of speach loving USofA---maybe we can meet for some coffee or tea or whatever those foreigners drink up there.

el Bow said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Og3VnZw8PLI

Birdmonster
Aug. 22 - Proletariat - Houston, TX

I can't tell you how good these guys are. If you have a chance to see them live, Mike, do it.

Leslie said...

olympia

emertron said...

Dude are you back yet? Did you die when you were up there?

conti said...

I'm back, and will be back in blogworld tomm. (Tues)

Tim said...

dude, here's another Mike Conti.

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