Can't get HF out of my mind

I'm going to shave every hair on my body, and then pour mustard on the hair and eat it for lunch.

Gross, MFer.

I'm going to shave every hair on my body, stuff the hair into an envelope and then send it to the ambassador of China.

Weird, MFer.

I'm going to shave every hair on my body,

actually I just had a really funny thought. Today is one of my co-workers birthday. Everyone in the office is excited because there is a cake. I just thought how cool it would be if Henry Ford came into the office from a time machine, put the cake in his Model T Time Machine, and then flew back in time.

Then everyone in the office would just be sad because there was no cake. But in the distance we could hear the laugh of Henry Ford. It would be a bit of a muffled laugh, because he was traveling back in time. Also it would be muffled because a piece of cake would be in his mouth while he laughed.

That shit would seriously make my day.

I got a new cell phone this weekend: A RAZR like the cool kids have. I'm excited about it. Now it won't look like I'm carrying a brick in my pocket. My old phone was huge, and took up all the free space in my pants. Now there's room for a boner, if desired.

I made a fantasy baseball trade this weekend: C.C. Sabathia for Nomar Garciaparra.

I watched a girl urinate in a cup this weekend: She was from Pittsburgh.


Melissa said...

A new phone and yet I still don't get a phonecall. It's official: I'm not your friend anymore.

Christine said...

I drunk dialed my friend and he listened to me pee this weekend. We bonded. Pee is cool like that.

Weird, MFer.

Rook said...

Does this urination story have to deal with Segall and the wedding story that I have yet to hear about.

emertron said...

Room for boners is VERY important.

Conti said...

christine, are you gone foreva?

TinaPoPo said...

Was it me?

I'm from Pittsburgh. But I didn't urinate in a cup. Not this weekend, anyway.

...or did I? Things are kind of hazy.

Christine said...

Nu uh, hottie, I'm back, like a phoenix from the ashes!!!


k that was lame, but come see me. I might make a new ugly sweater post with extra boobage just ferr youuuu....


ica said...

a true steeler

brianna said...

not to urinate on your parade (see, i followed your urination thing, i'm awesome)... but the RAZR phone sucks.

just thought i'd warn you. i thought i was cool cuz i had one, and it turns out i'm actually LESS cool now (even possible?) because everyone is laughing at me for having an aesthetically pleasing, but ultimately worthless, phone.

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