I'm going to shave every hair on my body, and then pour mustard on the hair and eat it for lunch.
I'm going to shave every hair on my body, stuff the hair into an envelope and then send it to the ambassador of China.
I'm going to shave every hair on my body,
actually I just had a really funny thought. Today is one of my co-workers birthday. Everyone in the office is excited because there is a cake. I just thought how cool it would be if Henry Ford came into the office from a time machine, put the cake in his Model T Time Machine, and then flew back in time.
Then everyone in the office would just be sad because there was no cake. But in the distance we could hear the laugh of Henry Ford. It would be a bit of a muffled laugh, because he was traveling back in time. Also it would be muffled because a piece of cake would be in his mouth while he laughed.
That shit would seriously make my day.
I got a new cell phone this weekend: A RAZR like the cool kids have. I'm excited about it. Now it won't look like I'm carrying a brick in my pocket. My old phone was huge, and took up all the free space in my pants. Now there's room for a boner, if desired.
I made a fantasy baseball trade this weekend: C.C. Sabathia for Nomar Garciaparra.
I watched a girl urinate in a cup this weekend: She was from Pittsburgh.