I'm going to the ACL Fest at the end of this summer. Oh, you don't know what the ACL Fest is? The ACL Fest is a celebration of knee muscles. Hahaha, what a jokester, I am! That was a joke. What a knee-slapper! Hahahaa, another joke. Hahaha, when will I stop? I'm bad, huh? Hahahahaha.
Actually ACL Fest stands for Austin Cunt Lickers. Hahahaha, that was a joke too. What a gross joke! Hahahaha, when will I stop? Hahaha, probably never! What can I say, I'm just a joking type of guy! Hahaha.
The ACL Fest is a music festival. There are lots of bands on lots of stages. Check out the lineup! What do you think of the show? Do you think I will have a good time? Gosh I hope so, I have never been.
And actually I need your help. I haven't listened to non-rap since the days of Nirvana and Soundgarden. So which bands are good?
I am very pumped to see Gnarls Barkley, Massive Attack, Explosions of the Sky, The Secret Machines, and Murder by Death. Other than that, I'm a bit clueless.
I'm intruiged to see 'What Made Milwaukee Famous'. I'll bet a bottom dollar that they are an entertaining band to watch. I expect a bunch of fat people dressed in Brett Favre jersey's holding cheese wedges to come out on stage. JKLOLHEHEHE.
All this music talk has me wanting to start a band. My band would be called 'Popcorn is My Favorite Explosion'. All our instruments would be stuffed with kernels. And when we jammed out, popcorn would fuckin fly out of our guitars. The heat from our rocking would ignite the kernels.
Can you imagine me just rocking out some guitar, with popcorn flying everywhere? It would also benefit my crowd dives- if I am mishandled by the audience, I will fall on a bed of the soft snack, and not the hard concrete.
By the end of the show we'd all be up to our elbows in the stuff. The fans will have to eat their way backstage if they want to go to the VIP room. And instead of throwing bras and panties, I'd want our fans to throw salt on stage. Maybe some butter, too. Would it be appropriate to have Korn open for us? I'm not sure.
Anyways, I love you- the reader.