I don't think I told the full story of my dates with the radio DJ. It's pretty good, so HERE GOES:
Up at work, we listen to 96.7 KISS, a popular radio station here in Austin. It's your typical Top 40- you know...American Idol talk...flavor of the month music...14 songs over and over...etc.
KISS has Austin's most popular morning show, an energetic threesome of DJ's in their mid-20's. They do a lot in the city, and usually have some type of event every month or so. Since they are all single, this past Valentine's Day they decided to have a Singles Mingle event.
I, having not yet met my special someone and having no other plans, attended this Singles Mingle with a buddy of mine. It was a good time. There were TONS of people, fine ladies, good drink specials, etc.
As it turns out, my friend knew Sara, the lone female DJ on the morning show. We were introduced, ended up talking for a while, and I grabbed her number at the end of the night.
We met for drinks a few nights later. It was nice. After the usual initial awkwardness, we ended up having good conversation and a few laughs. She was attractive and chatty, and we had a good amount in common. It didn't last long though, some of my buddies were in town and I had other plans. We planned to have dinner a few nights from then, and hugged goodbye.
The next day, I was all over the radio. "What did he wear? What happened? How'd you end it? Did he pay? Do you like him? What are you doing for your next date?" Obviously, I knew it would be on the radio. But man did they talk about it a lot. I mean they even nicknamed me the 'Italian Stallion'.
The next few days I listened as our second date was hyped even more. Apparently this was the first time Sara had been on a second date with someone. She went to an all girls high school, and was a book worm in college. But wow. I mean I'm not Johnny Valentine or anything, but she's 25! And I was her first second date? Are you kidding me?
Hearing all this didn't make me nervous, but knowing that every detail of the date would be heard about by everyone in the city of Austin kinda weighs heavy in your mind. So after a few more days of "Have you picked out what you're going to wear?" and "Are you going to kiss him?," the radio DJ and the Italian Stallion went out.
The date was mediocre. It wasn't bad, just boring. It was kind of like going to dinner with your cousin. She wasn't flirty or confident, and because I knew it would be talked about later, I didn't try anything bold or creative to try and kickstart some fun. After an eventless night, I dropped her off with a hug, and off I went. I'd hear about how I did the next day.
Now since they'd been talking this up the whole week, it was the day's big story. I was listening in my car, on my way to work:
"Okay coming up next, we're going to hear about Sara's big 2nd date. And you are NOT going to believe what her date did! You're gonna wanna hear this."
HOLLLLEY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO? I was freaked out. My mind raced, trying to figure out what exactly I did. What were they about to talk about??? I mean I even watched myself, so this wouldn't happen!
After the commercials, Sara talked about the date. She explained where we went to dinner, where we went afterwards, how we ended the date, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then, the main DJ Bobby cut her off.
"He played screw music! On a date! For those of you who don't know, screw music is rap music that is slowed way down. It sounds weird and not a lot of people listen to it. Why would you play it on a date? That's not romantic! That's not cool! It's weird!"
Relieved, I started to laugh. On the way to drop Sara off, a rap song came on.
"This song sounds better screwed," I remarked.
"What's screw?" she asked.
I couldn't believe that since she's ON THE RADIO AND MUSIC IS HER CAREER and FROM TEXAS, she hadn't heard of screw. So I put in a CD and played about 30 SECONDS of a song, just to show her what it was.
The main DJ ripped me pretty hard, but it was all good. I thought it was about to be announced to the entire city of Austin that my left ball was hanging out all night. My passion for screw was nothing to be embarrassed about.
What was funny is they asked listeners to call in and give their opinions. A ghetto chick got on: "Uh, yeah I think its cool that he played screwed music. It shows that you can take him to da club and he'll be aight."
We didn't go out again, even though Sara said on air she'd go on another date. It wasn't the music thing, or even the whole 'being on air' thing. There was just no chemistry.
Besides, isn't it an Italian Stallion's job to love em and leave em?