Poor people get so tan because they don't have homes

Yesterday I was lifting weights with Ajax, when we started talking about poor people.

"Haha poor people can't lift as much weight as us."


"Haha poor people can't buy as many things as us."

"Hahaha, you're right."

"Haha. Spot me while I bench press."

It was a pretty funny convo.

Oh you don't know what convo means? It's short for conversation, you piece of shit reader. How dare you.

Anyways, I haven't been blogging very much lately because I'm too busy tanning. The Easter Bunny put some suntan lotion in my easter basket (SPF 10). The Easter Bunny wants me to be tan. And the Easter Bunny talks to Jesus all the time. That's when I knew I needed to get serious about my skin color.

One day I'm going to film a kid with a bloody nose eating a pizza. He'll just be sitting by himself, and his legs will be kicking underneath the table. And he'll just eat the pizza. That's why I'm going to be famous. Because of ideas like that.

I wish I could blog more, but I'm going to go to lunch with my boss. Hopefully I don't get fired. Hopefully we'll eat some place where there are no crabcakes. Who would combine cake and crab? Honestly, what a shitty chef that invented that. Does anyone want a piece of lobster pie? What about oyster flan? No? Hmmm, okay. I'll come up with something else, in my kitchen.


Steph said...

i would LOOOVE oyster flan!! I would eat it whole.

Ajax said...

I wish you would post more. You are a shining light on the internet. One of maybe three shining lights.

emertron said...

Poor poor people. sigh.

Christine said...

Good luck with turning brown, dude! The Easter bunny knows all. ALL!

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