3.09.2006

The Steriod Blog

ARE THERE SUCH OF A THING AS GHOST WHALES?

I had a dream last night that I was playing basketball and Mike Ditka was guarding me. He was slow as shit, so he kept fouling me. Fucking Ditka can't hold me.

I was an American Indian in a former life. One night my teepee collapsed while I was sleeping inside it. I didn't make my way from underneath the rubble after it happened. I lay there motionless, with tears in my eyes. I knew the chief would be ashamed.

Girls who have itchy armpits will never find love.

Did I tell you about the time I tackled a millionaire? I was drunk, and everyone was outside the bar talking. I tackled the millionaire, and then ran down the street shouting "Green Dragons Don't Exist! Green Dragons Don't Exist!" This took place in Houston.

If you don't want The Machine to eat your brownies, then you should make mustard brownies. Otherwise, buy a gun.

I consider myself a very positive person, but I can't say one good thing about dust. Is there anything else that you can't say anything positive about? I mean even Hitler was a good public speaking and a really hard worker.

13 comments:

emertron said...

Green dragons don't exist? You mean I've been LIED to this whole time?

Anonymous said...

Dust looks really cool when you're high tailin' it out of some hole in the wall bar in Helotes, TX in your 1993 Z-71 truck whith a headache rack. Realy the dust is what makes the whole scene hardcore

Conti said...

hmm good point

Ajax said...

Ha, good point about Hitler. I guess it's time we re-evaluate his contribution to society.

Steph said...

i can't say anything positive about asparagus. it makes your pee stink.

Sean said...

I can't say one positive thing about long pubes.

Sean said...

P.s. Tell your mom "i'm sorry" for having to read that last comment. I had a brain lapse for a second. But then again, I always have brain lapses so this will probably occur again. So tell her "I'm sorry" about 40 more times after that. Thanks.

el Bow said...

sean: there is a rapist in Slingblade who was a big fan of "a big bush" - that's got to count for something.

brianna said...

steph-- but asparagus makes your pee stink because it's detoxing your body!

i can't say anything positive about Bob the Builder.

long pubes said...

Bob the Builder reinforces the badly-needed "can-do" attitude in little boys!

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