I am preparing for my vacation to Florida. I want to look my best for the hot beach bikini babes.
So last night I bought a pair of jeans shorts and a tie dyed shirt that says "Party Animal!" with the Tazmanian Devil underneath it. I'm going to bring my pair of aquasocks as well. That's going to be my beach outfit. I may also wear my hat with the extra long bill.
I may also get a tattoo in Florida. This is because I want to let these bikini babes know that I am a rough man who may be a cute Johnny B. Bad. The tougher the tattoo the better. The tougher the tattoo the hotter the beach babe. Here are a few of my ideas for a tattoo:
-Hulk Hulgan bleeding from the eyes while shooting a gun
-a boat full of toddlers having engine problems while sharks circle it
-a black man lifting weights
-a sword with the words 'Oh really?' written on the blade with blood
Probably babes will want me to talk with them in Florida. All Florida babes want a handsome Texan to be around them to notice their mascara. I don't really want to buy any beach babes a drink, though. That's really not my job, because I'm very entertaining.
I haven't really set any goals for this vacation. Maybe I should. They are:
1. Drunk dial Disney World
Actually all I have is that 1 so far.
I will be going with 3 friends: Mookie, Chuck, and The Reez. I'll tell you their playa profiles soon.