3.19.2006

I trust The Internet

I was eating alone at IHOP when I met The Pants. I was in the corner, and had to wave to her when she arrived. We hugged, and then she watched me eat my meal. Scrambled eggs covered with tobasco sauce, hash brows covered with ketchup, toast covered in jam and bacon.

"Do you want to eat any of my bacon?" I asked this internet friend.

"I don't eat meat," she responded.

What a mistake I made! I immediately made a mental note: Vomit the bacon later, to gain back vegetarian respect.

Next we went to Azul Tequila, where we drank margaritas and watched a marriachi band perform. Halfway through the performance, one of the band members snuck his horn into the bathroom. He played a song from the bathroom. I didn't like this sneaky marriachi. I was worried and expected foul play. I wanted to inspect the situation, but figured I didn't have jurisdiction. This wasn't an Italian restaurant.

I'm sorry to say I made a weather joke to The Pants. It rained this weekend, and I said "Oh you must have brought the weather with you." (She's from Seattle area) HAHAHAHA. No one has ever said that joke before. LOL LOL hehe.

I trust The Internet. I don't trust IHOP meats.

7 comments:

el Bow said...

Speaking on behalf of the internet, we'll do all we can to not dissapoint you. Your trust is well placed. Speaking on behalf of all animals, we appreciate the small gesture of vomiting up our flesh.

Melissa said...

You suck and I'm mad at you.

emertron said...

Good call on the IHOP meats. Kinda sketchy. Hey. I thought you were coming to Chicago in like January. Where were you? Did you stand us up? I was even going to tell you that I'd show you my boobs if you bought me drinks but then never show you. Damnit!

Ajax said...

ha, rad, the pants.

"the pants and me" is what this entry could have been alternately called.

arnheim Lieber said...

I used to live in Texas and heard Mariachi's frequently...
now, if I am lucky...some Mexicans will ride the subway with their instuments and grace the commuters with their sweet, sweet music.

arnheim Lieber said...

I used to live in Texas and heard Mariachi's frequently...
now, if I am lucky...some Mexicans will ride the subway with their instuments and grace the commuters with their sweet, sweet music.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot! »