I was eating alone at IHOP when I met The Pants. I was in the corner, and had to wave to her when she arrived. We hugged, and then she watched me eat my meal. Scrambled eggs covered with tobasco sauce, hash brows covered with ketchup, toast covered in jam and bacon.
"Do you want to eat any of my bacon?" I asked this internet friend.
"I don't eat meat," she responded.
What a mistake I made! I immediately made a mental note: Vomit the bacon later, to gain back vegetarian respect.
Next we went to Azul Tequila, where we drank margaritas and watched a marriachi band perform. Halfway through the performance, one of the band members snuck his horn into the bathroom. He played a song from the bathroom. I didn't like this sneaky marriachi. I was worried and expected foul play. I wanted to inspect the situation, but figured I didn't have jurisdiction. This wasn't an Italian restaurant.
I'm sorry to say I made a weather joke to The Pants. It rained this weekend, and I said "Oh you must have brought the weather with you." (She's from Seattle area) HAHAHAHA. No one has ever said that joke before. LOL LOL hehe.
I trust The Internet. I don't trust IHOP meats.