1.12.2006

a squared plus b squared equals c squared

a math and word problem for you
the problem is two b plus eight equals eighty-four
minus eight to both sides
two b equals seventy-six
divide both sides by two
b equals thirty-eight

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I have this cousin named Justin that is good at giving haircuts. He is tall and got good grades in High School. I trust him with my locks, more so than his younger brother Jered. Jerad? How do you spell that cousins name? Jared? Anyways I don't trust him with my hair. I trust Justin. He owns a beard and moustache trimmer and he is very patient. He shaved my head in Detroit during the summer. I could use another hair cut, but I do not want to travel to Detroit.

Justin apparently likes Asian girls. I'm secretly hoping he ends up marrying one. That way in 15 years when we are at a family reunion, my kid will beat the shit out of his at basketball. The half-Asian in his kid will make him so short and timid. Since I plan to marry a woman 6ft6 or taller, my child will be huge and dominating. I could easily see my child not allowing Justin's halfase (a new fusion word for half asian) to score.

10 comments:

el Bow said...

Like any woman 6'6" or taller would tolerate your hairy back. At least a halfase would have less body hair.

Sean said...

so you are saying the BB likes it from both sides? Preferably 38 years olds?

Rod Renegade said...

Not enough people think about the future like you do.

emertron said...

My best friend dated this guy named Jared. He called himself (including signed letters) 'The Jared'. What a turd.

TinaPoPo said...

As long as you're marrying a 6ft6 woman, you should try to make sure she's left handed.

RitMeyer said...

I only married my husband because he is 6'2. I come from a long line of short people, so we needed to breed up. I tower above even the men at 5'9. To add insult to injury, we are excellent basketball players. Yet too short to play point guard past the 5th grade.

You have to think of these things.

Steph said...

and you may even be able to get a massage from Jared's asian wife.

Cousin Justin said...

I'm so honored to have been featured in your blog. His name's Jarrad, and I'm dating a girl who's one-eighth Japanese right now just so you know...but my future son will dominate your trashy spawn in all aspects of life.

princess tatas said...

Well done Justin. That was funny. Although, for me, usually this whole blog is funny.

Conti said...

1/8th, huh? Jarrad, huh? Wooster, huh?