1.10.2006

Smorgasborge

I've decided I'm not going to brush my teeth anymore because its racist. What's wrong with black teeth? Besides my skin is white and some contrast would be nice. Like a tan. A teeth tan. A totally kewl new look. A look that will get me 9 babes to smooch with. "Hey babe do you want to smooch my non-racist teeth?" Come on babe get in line.

The last girl I smooched tasted like cucumbers. It was gross. I didn't even know cucumbers had a taste but we were sitting there, in the parking lot of Barnes and Noble at 4am, and as we were smooching all I could think about was cucumbers. It was subtle-gross. That's a new rule, I think. Never eat cucumbers before you make out with me. Other wise I'll next you.

Last night I watched a movie called "So This Is College" that was made in 1929. It was about 2 roommates/friends/football stars that fell for Babs, this college hottie. It was a badass movie because every other line was "Say, what's the big idea?" Like the night of the big dance they'd go back and forth stealing Babs away from each other and the other guy would be all "Say, what's the big idea?" I wanted to like the movie but I thought maybe it was racist because it was filmed in black and white.

Work Update: I'm about to call a man named Babatune. He is a store manager at Burger King. I'm going to call him and ask if he'd like to interview with Taco Bell. I'm looking forward to saying "Hello Babatune, would you like to work for Taco Bell?" I've never said that before.

Mum? Mum? Will you come up to Austin and shave my back hair mum? I want my back to be smooth like the other boys mum. My back hair is curly and frizzy and the people at the gym point at me mum. When I play pickup basketball I wish so bad to be on the shirts and not the skins mum. Will you mum? Will you come up to Austin and shave my bair hair mum?

My birthday is next Monday and I hope its as good as the moon.

11 comments:

Ajax said...

Hairy back, huh? I guess everyone has a secret shame. Mine is a prolapsed rectum. Most girlfriends, when they see it, are scared, but after awhile they get used to it and start loving it, like an extra special friend. Check out my prolapsed rectum website when you get the chance.

In other news, your birthday is the same as my Moms, so expect a turquoise necklace in the mail.

nk said...

I tried fighting racism once. It was pretty hard, so I just became a racist.

Melissa said...

Mama's boy! Just get it waxed, be a man.

Steph said...

I think you could rock some black teeth. It might be nice. I heard gold is all the rage these days tough.

erin said...

i didn't brush my teeth today because i lost my toothbrush.

Tim said...

are you a recruiter for Taco Bell?

Conti said...

no, i don't know why i'm calling Babatune, really.

el Bow said...

Have you spoken to this Babatune guy before or is this a cold call? He will probably say something like "the 'Babatune' is silent. I go by Jeff"

ica said...

does your mum read your blog?

good luck getting the tan teeth thing to catch on.

K Kid said...

Your birthday is MLK day? If so, thats very non-racist of you. Congrats Michael King Conti.

Anonymous said...

This is very interesting site... video editing programs