I am not feeling very well so last night I drank a gallon of soap. Not soup. Soap. I don't understand how people say "Oh you're sick? You should eat some soup to get healthy." That is so illogical and wrong. Soup is just a shitty food. Soap kills germs.
If soap can clean the outside of my body, why wouldn't it clean the inside of my body?
So I drank a gallon of soap and now I feel a little bit better, I think. I've been farting out bubbles all day but with every good medicine there comes a side effect or two. Also if I want a bubble bath all I have to do is pee.
I knew I was sick when I had a dream about the Revolutionary War the other night. That's a sure tell sign that you aren't feeling 100% - when you dream about the redcoats. "The Redcoats are coming!" is dream talk for "The illness is coming!"
Redcoats are funny because they walk in a straight line and don't look around when people are shooting at them. Plus the only place they'd have a camo advantage at would be a red paint factory or a superhero cape shop. Bright red is easy to spot in fields, barns, forests, steamboats, etc.
I could also tell that I was sick when I wasn't hungry for pizza. Normally every Monday night I eat pizza in my closet. I eat many slices and cry while I eat because the lights are out and I'm uncomfortable in the dark. I think about danger dragons, infected scabs, talking spiders, fat ghosts, etc.
It's my way of "letting go" before the upcoming week. I also enjoy my pizza a bit on the soggy side. It makes it easier to chew and by eating my tears I'm saving water on mother earth.
Anyways I'm not 100%. But don't cry for me Blogentina.