My goal in life is to acquire as many meats as possible. I'll put all the meats in a tower.
The more meats the better. I'll hire men that acquire large quantity of meats for me. They will be called Meat Men.
I'll make the quiet joke at business meetings: "Meet my Meat Men at the Meeting."
I'll also hire men who are tall and move comfortably on ladders. They will be called Tower Men. These Tower Men will take the meats from the Meat Men and place the meats in the tower.
Every Friday during Lent I'll award my top Meat Man with a gold vest that he can wear while visiting with clients during meat mergers and business dance parties.
When moral is low with the Tower Men I'll award the crew with protective goggles that prevent retina irritation when a liquid meat burst occurs.
It's not all fun and games though. I'll have to fire any Tower Man who carelessly places goat meat on top of pherret meat, cow meats on top of veal, chicken on top of pork chops, ham slices on top of turkey breast, turkey breast on top of t-bones, ostrich legs on top of hamburger meat, or sausage links on top of hot dogs.
Meat Men will be required to lift weights on a regular basis and any man unable to benchpress 160 pounds will be sent home without pay.
The tower itself will be be built on a concrete foundation. This will prevent escaping jail prisoners and coal miners from accidently penetrating the meat tower from beneath.
There will be a moat around the tower. The moat will prevent major injury or death in the event that a Tower Man were to slip and fall from a high ladder. The Tower Man will fall harmlessly onto water instead of bone-crunching concrete. There will be 3 alligators in the moat, however, to ensure that the fallen Tower Man hustle out of the moat and return to work.
During the summer months, the tower will maintain a temperature of 56 degrees. AC units and high powered fans will be purchased from the outlet mall and installed. During the winter, we'll abandon the tower and vacation in Florida.
Eventually I'll have acquired many meats and be satisfied with my life. I'll throw a party to celebrate. After a round of drinks, I'll climb to the top of the tower, and dive into tower. I'll swim downwards, using my hands in a butterfly stroke to move among the meats.
I'll smell the meats, and when I open my eyes I'll see up close the acquired meats. Sooner or later the swim stroke will wear me down so I'll open my mouth and enjoy unusual meats for energy.
Hopefully my ears won't be clogged with roast beef tips or pork rinds and I'll be able to hear the Tower Men and Meat Men cheering me on.
The louder they cheer the faster I meat swim.