12.14.2005

to my apartment complex

Being creative is awesome because you can write a letter like this instead of pay a $50 late fee.

Dear Gables Apartments,

I was writing you a letter today about my water bill. I did not turn it in on time and that was a mistake. I can be a dope sometimes. I am very sorry about this.

I didn’t turn in the water on the 1st because I was taking care of my friend Lisa, an injury-prone belly dancer. She sprained her ankle dancing for important businessmen, and needed much attention to heal. She would demand that I fluff her pillows, sprinkle crackers into her tomato soup, etc. It was very hard for me to think about water with all of this on my hands.

I should ask Lisa to pay the water bill, but she comes from a family of gypsies and I’m afraid of their magic spells.

Truly Yours,

Michael Conti
Apartment #410

P.S. Thank you for waving at me when you drive around on the golf carts.

12 comments:

Tim said...

your blog is an identity thief's wet dream.

Conti said...

true - changes were made.

Melissa said...

Liar! That's not the apartment number I usually stalk! Are you trying to throw me off?

Tim said...

too late, I already stole your tv.

Sean said...

Who pays for water? Why don't you go live in the ocean or something.

Ajax said...

Great blog. Check out my Lettuce Farming website if you get chance!

emertron said...

A few ladies (gents) from the blogosphere went out last night & we have officially decided that we want Conti in Chicago. Thus, pack your bags & come visit. Pronto. We will throw you a party.

Conti said...

On what ground was this decision made?

emertron said...

We decided this because you're awesome. Also, it sounded like a fabulous idea after a couple of drinks & a few rounds of Boggle. Wooooo Boggle!!!!!!

Conti said...

I'm actually going to go to Chicago sometime in Jan or Feb. I have 2 friends up there so I'm going to plan a long weekend. So yes at some point I'll be up there and we can all eat snow and look for the one armed man and whatever else Chicago is about.

emertron said...

Confidential to Erin & Jessica: OMG! Did you hear that? Could you imagine that our dreams & plans are falling into place just one mere night after we made them? It's a Festivus miracle.

AND WE WILL HAVE A CONTI PARTY!!!!!

Jeff said...

i had a Conti party one time...i was sexually assaulted by a lobster

and that's not even a lie