12.30.2005

The previous days for me

The first day of the holiday I went home and my sisters compared breast size. We all talked about the dead dog Bitsy, and then we ate ham sandwiches with a bowl of soup. I told everyone how I was feeling and then we watched a movie about robots.

The next day I was crazy and watched football because I needed enough points to be the champion. The Fantasy Football Champion that is! And I got enough points to beat the Rook badly. And I am champion for the 4th time in a row and 5 times out of 6. Then we watched It's a Wonderful Life and I cried because I love that movie.

The next day was the big day and we went to church and sung holiday songs. Then we came home and ate sausage. Gift time! I opened up all my gifts. I got a wooden baseball and a bottle of shampoo.

The next day I met Dean in a parking lot. We exchanged gifts and he used the wrapping paper to wipe sweat off his head. Later that day we went into the city and watched young black men smoke cigarettes. Then we ate pistachio nuts in a high-rise condominium.

The next day I played basketball with older men and red head twins at 6am. Afterwards I drove to Austin and sat down in my chair. Then I started to bleed. I immediately and accidently stabbed myself. Even though we are this uber stylish ad agency for some reason we have pocket knives all over the place. I stabbed my finger and bleed on my desk.

The next day everyone asked me why I hadn't blogged in 6 days. I didn't answer and listened to rap music all day.

The next day I was sleeping when some strangers came to my apartment and began arguing who the more evil slut was. We listened to quiet funk music and I didn't say much because I thought I was in a dream.

Then today I woke up and put on brown pants. The man fixing our phones told me a story about identity theft. I ate a large sandwich and listened to AM sports radio. Then I turned on the computer and started to blog.

13 comments:

The Evil Drunken Sluts said...

Your forgot to mention that the strangers spilled red wine on your carpet and drank water from your luxurious water cooler.

Conti said...

and questioned my pirate sword.

Steph said...

quite an eventful weekend my friend. glad that you're not dead or anything. happy new year!

nk said...

I guess you got the ham sandwich for Xmas. Lucky.

that_robot said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Captain of the Ship said...

hmmm...i feel that there was an AIM conversation in there somewhere with a beautiful stranger regarding the finer points of jake ryan's car?

ica said...

what sort of rap music?

explauren said...

happy new year to you too! give the conti family a smooch for me

Christine said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR, CONTIIIIII!!! If I worked with you and I saw you stab yourself, I would've stabbed myself too and then rubbed our hottie blood together. I LOVE you that much!

Dean said...

That wrapping paper towel was CLUTCH (city).

In england people eat a lot of meat. Also, I went into a tree near this graveyard. For New Years i got a kiss(twice) because I was American.

Gina is here. She loves your blog. She is from Illinios via Missouri. She was amazed Texas does't have income tax. In fact, I am too. How do we pay Rick Perry?

Also, I was in a members section of a Modern art muesem which overlooked the Thames river. !

Ajax said...

Wow, Mexican blogeers are way different. For example, it says "haga su comentario" instead of "leave a comment". It says "Comentario suprimido -
El autor ha eliminado esta entrada."

This country sucks.

emertron said...

OMG! You cry during It's a Wonderful Life, too? We must be spiritually connected.

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