Fun things to say aloud when you are eating dinner alone in a crowded Luby's:
"Injury! Oh did you see that! That American Indian made an unsuccessful scalp! Get that white man a towel and some bandages!"
"Hey Everybody! My invisible girlfriend doesn't want her mac and cheese. Any takers?"
"Um I didn't want any old people sitting at that table. It's hard for me to eat when they're around."
"Yummy. This is yummy. This is too yummy." (while pretending to cry heavily)
(to table closest to you) "Psst...Psst...Luby's rhymes with boobies." (and then giggle wide-eyed)
"You are my only friend, Mr. Salisbury Steak, but I have to eat you now. I have low blood sugar and if I don't eat you, I will die. So its me or you, Mrs. Salisbury Steak. And I choose me."
(in buffet line) "Compliments to the chef. The jello is exceptionally colorful tonite. Vibrant! Truly vibrant! Please let the chef know. Please let him know what I'm telling you."
"I'm pretending like I'm eating a dinosaur that died because he was sad. I'm sorry you were so sad dinosaur, but I eat your meat with a smile."
"This ham smells like a pregnant horse but I'm going to eat it anyways."