For Christmas, our office is helping The Salvation Army. Everybody in the office "adopts" a poor child in Austin and we buy them Christmas gifts. Then sometime in December we give the gifts to the kids.
My kid is Rogelio, a 4-year-old boy. It says on the info sheet here that he wants soft balls, large trucks, and cars.
Well Rogelio, Uncle Mikey got you a VHS copy of The Fugitive instead.
Why are you crying, Rogelio? Thats not showing Uncle Mikey much respect. Quit with that quivering lip before I smack it off. Right here in the volunteer center.
Rogelio, The Fugitive is a great movie. It will make you hate people who were born with only one arm. It's rated PG-13 so you'll have to wait 9 years to watch it though. I'll tell you what - Uncle Mikey is going to hold on to it for you until you're old enough. Isn't that nice of Uncle Mikey? Be a good boy and kiss his hand.
What's that , Rogelio? Oh no no my dear child. You WERE a good boy this year. It's just that Uncle Mikey is selfish and would rather buy a polo t-shirt or a bottle of tequila instead. Haha - don't cry! I have a surprise for you Rogelio. I saw on your info sheet that you like large trucks!
Well go outside, Lil Rog. My SUV is parked right outside and you get to clean it! It's a BIG TRUCK so have your sister Rogelia help you. Make sure that you use those small fingers of yours to really scrub the tires. No water breaks. If you get thirsty just drink your tears, Rogelio.
Syke. Syke out. I'll make sure Rogelio has a good Christmas.
"But Richard, I'm in the middle of this speech!"