11.16.2005

Invite Only

One day soon I'm going to have a party at a fancy New York art gallery. Pure white walls and a 100ft high ceiling. Shiny floors and bright lights. You know that type of place, right?

I'm going to be the host of the party, and I'll be wearing a tuxedo.

On each of the huge white walls I'm going to project a different film. 4 walls, 4 movies. Each movie will completely cover the wall its projected on.

Each movie will be in black and white, and will be a close-up of someone sleeping.

One wall will be a 20 something white woman sleeping.
One wall will be a 40 something black man sleeping.
One wall will be a 15 something white male sleeping.
One wall will be a 60 something light brown man sleeping.

Each will be attractive and interesting. You'll get a side view of their face and shoulders. The focus will be on the face, where you'll see shut eyes and a slow breath coming out of the mouth and nose. It will be very peaceful. Through the entire party their faces will be on the walls, and you will see them and hear them breathing and tossing once a while. It will be a nice artsy background as my guests drink, socialize, etc.

Towards the end of the night I'll make a speech. All will be quiet and all attention will be on me.

"My dearest of friends...I have an announcement."

And as soon as I say that the 4 people on the walls will violently open their eyes.

It will be very eery as I continue my speech, now with more urgency.

"Today my dream is fulfilled and you are to see Michael Conti. I have been waiting for this day. Now it is here and all will change. Never to be the same."

As I continue to speak the figures on the wall will grow angry and start to breath heavy and dangerous. Their noise will hit your eardrum deep.

"Today I share the message that was sent to me. Today I share my purpose."

Along with my words these huge images will now be screaming at you with all their lungs when in an instant all the lights go out and with it comes silence.

An entire minute of dark silence and no movement before one bright word projects on all walls.

CHUFFA

29 comments:

Melissa said...

You are so existential.

emertron said...

Can I come to your party & wear a pretty dress?

Conti said...

I don't know, Tron. Our relationship is in the crucial "We'll see" stage. For all I know you may suck. But probably you are a yes.

emertron said...

I'll make you chocolate chip cookies!

Chuck Woolery said...

Will the dress be "smart casual"?

Conti said...

fuckin Chuck Woolery can whatever the hell he wants to my party

emertron said...

Conti, you should set up your living room like the show & get a cardboard cutout of Woolery & have him sit on the couch. Then when you have girls over you could act like it was a Love Connection set up.

Anonymous said...

I don't know chuck, lets see what the audience said.

oh, 76% said your and idiot

will said...

oh snap, anonymous does not like Chuck

erin said...

i'm a twenty something white woman if you want me to send you footage of me sleeping.

TinaPoPo said...

This is beautiful and thought-provoking.

Rook said...

Can I get the phone number of whoever you pick for the 20 something white woman. Ive always wanted to date an actress.

Melissa said...

Can I be your date? I'll wear a black cocktail dress with a tutu skirt and walk around with a martini in my hand while saying, in a serious, deep, monotone voice "I'm Michael Conti's date. Don't you love me?" and stare at them blankly until they start to feel uncomfortable and say yes. And when they do say yes, I'll do a plie and scream "Kazaam!"

Tim said...

Isn't this the plot of the last Rocky movie?

the pants said...

i went to a party like this once except the sleeping people were Russian and no one was wearing fancy clothes (or much at all actually). i drank a bottle and a half of vodka so i don't remember anything else.

Anonymous said...

the pants is a liar

el Bow said...

"76% said your and idiot"

Why did 76% say that?

Anonymous said...

How the hell should I know, that was how the audience voted. Frankly, I don't know that I blame them, I mean come on the guy thinks he is Chuck Woolery

Sean said...

the question is..will the OTHER Mike Conti be there too?

ica said...

Does chuffa mean something? Maybe there's a clue in the comments but I can't bother with all of those.

pete said...

do you think that we could get more women on the list?

the pants said...

it was a communist party.

Christine said...

Can I play the 40 something year old black man? I've always wanted to do a 40 something black man sleeping. Can I have a large penis? I know it doesn't matter because all I'll be doing is sleeping, but I just want one.

Anonymous said...

I thought that Chuffa was some sort of mexican breed of Cat

el Bow said...

I was just giving some thought to the room. Are you projecting in 16:9? If so, the room's walls will need to be 178 feet long if they are 100 feet high. I think I know just the room for you. Except it's not in New York and it's not a room but the dimensions are perfect.

Anonymous said...

so where is this non room you speak of?

Conti said...

http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?iq6gyvk4dbc

Lovan said...

It sounds like anice idea, are you an artist? Haven't I been reading your blog frequently enough?
Should I know all this?

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