I dare you to shave your eyebrows and mix them with peanutbutter and then have a peanutbutter and eyebrow sandwich
This weekend I went to Houston and watched the Houston Astros play outstanding baseball. I love baseball. I played in little league alot. I played 3rd base and catcher.
Being a catcher was really interesting. You got to put on a mask and everyone would always ask me if I was wearing a cup. Both my parents and all these coaches would ask me if I was wearing a cup.
"Wearing your cup, right Conti?"
"Yes Coach Ramirez"
"Yes Coach Sweeney"
"Yes Coach Hill"
Everyone has been obsessed with my crank for as long as I can remember.
Catching is also cool because you have an old-guy-umpire bending over you all game. "A little bit outside. Ball," he'd say into my ear. Umpires wear masks too so thats a great bond there.
I love catching so much that my all-time favorite baseball player is a catcher. His name is Tony Eusebio.
Do you know what Tony Eusebio looks like? No? Oh, here you go then:
That's him. That's Tony. He's the most impressive baseball player I've ever seen. I'd tell you more about him but I wouldn't know where to begin.
I will say this though...
I voted for Tony Eusebio in the 2004 presidential elections. I wrote him in. I figured he would be looking for a new career since he retired from baseball a year before. I didn't know much about Bush or Kerry but I knew a lot about Eusebio so I voted him in. I'm kinda sad it didn't work out. Eusebio has a lot of heart. That would be nice to see in DC.
I dare you to shake dandruff into your own open bloody wound.