10.10.2005

Just Many, Many

Hola,

Me llamo Miguel Conti. Me gusta el beisbol, Shaquille O'Neal, besos con mujeres bonitas, y pollo rosa maria. Soy de Houston, Tejas. No tengo una novia. Mi numero favorito es ocho. Mi apartiminto es limpio y especial. Mi amigo Dean "El Machine" es muy loco. Tiene un bigote.

I was thinking about how great you are. You, the reader. I want to please you by writing something enjoyable. I'm at a busy workplace now though. Could you hold on a while? I'm sorry to put this on hold. You really do look great today. How do you look so good on a Monday? I don't know how you do it. Let's talk later, shall we? Ok great. I'm really looking forward to it.

Meanwhile you should check out some websites. Here are some popular ones:
Yahoo
Google
Amazon
Check those out. Until I get back. And can write for you. Or type for you! Haha. Have you ever heard that joke? I'll bet you have.

My mom reads my blog now. Hi Mom! I'll stop typing about vaginas now that I know you read my blog. Isn't that nice of me, mom? I'm your favorite son, aren't I mom?

I wish I could take all my readers out to a Chipotle Mexican Grill. Would you all like that? We could rent out the place and have a burrito-nanza. I would say a few words into a microphone and music would be playing as we chowed down. Then you all could come on a stage and share with everyone your favorite blog entry. Speak about how you read my blog and your emotions. Then afterwards I'd hug you. All my readers. At once. Individual hugs. Then afterwards there'd be a VIP party at the guacamole bar. Not everyone would be invited to that.

I drove by a Supercuts the other night. I was thinking about how fun it would be to break into a Supercuts. I'd cut my own hair and then drink the blue liquid that keeps the combs fresh. Hopefully my teeth wouldn't be kinda blue like when you eat blue laffy-taffy. Because next I'd have a date with a model. And if the model was a bitch I'd probably just start peeing blue everywhere. She'd probably faint because she'd think I was an alien. Models always freak out when they think they are dating an alien.

Hey sorry about that mom. Sorry about that blue peeing mom.

12 comments:

Rod Renegade said...

That'd be cool to see on COPS... a guy (maybe you) cutting his own hair in Supercuts. Whatcha gonna do when the fuzz nail you... I bet they'd have to make a new police code just for that.

Ajax said...

Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day, Mike. Or should I say, "Miguel"? To write for us again.

I have a story for you that maybe should go in a blog of my own, but it goes something like this:

man: Can we stop in that bookstore for a minute please?

woman: Why?

man: I'm looking for a book.

woman: What kind of book.

man: (exasperated) If you must know, I'm looking for a book that explains how to install "subwoofers" in your car.

woman: Uh-huh.

Later that day, in the middle of an argument:

woman: You never think about stuff like that! All you ever think about is installing subwoofers in your car!

THE END

Who is your mom? Is she related to you somehow?

Melissa said...

How can I get an invite into the VIP Guacamole party? I hear they're que-so fabulous!

Rod Renegade said...

By the way... ¡Tengo gusto de su blog mucho! Espero mucho ser invitado a su partido del VIP. ¡Eso me harĂ­a tan feliz!

Conti said...

Ajax,

Haha. Books are for crooks. You should get someone you trust to install those subwoofers.

By the way, were there any particular tracks that you enjoyed on the summer jam cd?

Conti said...

Rod,

I'd make them blur my face off just in case I didn't do a good job.

Conti said...

Melissa,

BJ

emertron said...

Blue teeth are HOTT!

If I was in biking distance of your Chipotle could I be invited?

ica said...

Want to write emails back and forth in Spanish? I'm just learning.

Conti said...

yes i do

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