10.18.2005

BAM!

The thing about being in a fraternity is sometimes you find yourself in a basement with like 50 guys. You are standing around in this basement and there are old bikes and wood piles everywhere. And you have to stay down there for like 35 minutes. And this guy that combs his hair everyday tells a story about how he had sex with a girl. And he makes a joke about how he was thinking about using a snickers wrapper for a condom. And only a few of the young guys laugh because they don't want everyone to find out they are virgins. And I think you are wearing a tie. And then someone comes downstairs and knocks on the basement door. And they say something important in code greek words. And all the other guys say something back but you don't because you didn't read the red book that they passed out a few months ago.

The thing about being in a fraternity is sometimes you find yourself in the bed of a pick-up truck. And you're driving around looking through dumpsters trying to find old mattresses. And you're doing this because you are going to have strippers oil wrestle later and its your job to construct some type of stage for them. And you finally find some and also a cool road sign that you hang in your apartment.

The thing about being in a fraternity is sometimes you find yourself at a meeting with this old vice president guy. And this old president guy has a son who wants to join. And you ask this son what his nickname is because you are trying to be nice. And he responds "The Rat". And then he goes on to explain how his friends call him the rat because he's always sneaking around. And then a month later you're at a brothership camping trip and everyone is around a fire. And there is someone walking around in the dark. And this tall blonde kid says "whos out there?" And then he's like "oh. just the rat" when the shine from his flashlight catches the rats broad face.

15 comments:

ica said...

Always sneaking around.

I'm suspicious of frat boys. Aren't they always raping?

Ajax said...

I was going to join a fraternity when I went to college, but then I remembered how NOT GAY I was.

TinaPoPo said...

There's nothing like a little homoerotic pledging to make a freshman college kid feel a little less homesick.

Or so I've heard.

emertron said...

Did you wear cargo pants & a baseball cap? All frat guys are supposed to wear that stuff.

Conti said...

I'm not really sure if I was in a frat or not. It's all kind of confusing.

emertron said...

Dude. Hazing is awesome. That's maybe why you're not sure. You probably just don't remember & stuff.

Phil said...

haha,

do you still have that old pi kapp book? the with everyone's resume on it? I remember how everyone tried to look as tough as they could in their photograph, just in case some sororities got ahold of the book. I didn't crack a smile, instead I imagined what my facial expressions would be like if I had tattoos all over my body- and then I started to get angry at the camera.

You have to act as tough as you can to get the girls.

par said...

i might think you were funny, if you weren't so familiar with frat boys...

G A Y

fusselman's rabbit said...

frat guys also talk loud on cell phones in the library so people know that they are in a frat and have lots of frat-like connections, even though no one cares. they're often over heard talking about last weekends parties or the upcoming parties this weekend.

networking is a good skill to have in the real world.

the pants said...

you were in I Phelta Thi weren't you.

Christine said...

"And this guy that combs his hair everyday tells a story about how he had sex with a girl."

Haha Awesome!

Can I borrow your imagination for a day? k thx.

will said...

Conti-

long time listener, first time poster. "The Rat" actually worked at Pok'e Joes and grew a Mullet. You should go and see if he is still there

Anonymous said...

The thing about being in a fraternity is that sometimes you plan a huge pary with strippers but you have no place to do it...So you pull it off in your front yard

Conti said...

You know I go to PokeJo's every once and a while to try and rediscover The Rat. But never find him. Last time I talked to him I heard he was trying to become a teacher, which is pretty much the most awesome thing I've ever heard.

Anonymous said...

Conti- Will was telling me about "The Rat". I had to check it out! Very Nice attention to detail! I will go by Pok'e Joes next week when I am in Austin and follow up on the scouting report.

MitchMayben