10.11.2005

Ajax Blue

There has been a void on blogworld ever since Ajax stopped posting everday. Admit it - It just hasn't been the same. So instead of waiting until his baby girl grows up and leaves for college, I'm going to be pro-active and replace him. Here goes...

-------

Is it? Is it really? IT IS. IT IS TUESDAY AFTERNOON.

TUESDAY TIME

Today I ate a jam sandwich alone. My girlfriend (the one I held hands with at my wedding) took Kid #1 and Kid #2 to grandma's. "Goodbye you's two," I said. "Have fun drinking gin and playing drunken bingo with Granny." GRANDMA DANGER TIME.

Should I drink gin with my jam sandwich? Milk doesn't feel cool. Teenage Japanese girls don't sneak sips of milk when the bus driver isn't looking. MILK IS OUT. I don't want my moustache to smell like gin. I need moustache odor guards.

$15.99 FOR A PACK OF 3 AT WALMART

I drove to Walmart in a car. My car. When I walked up to the store the doors opened automatically. NO DOOR TOUCHING.

You'll never guess who was greeting customers and pasing out shopping carts when I got inside.

"Aren't you Captain Kangaroo?"

"Oh. Hey Ajax. Need a cart?"

"No, I'm only here to buy moustache odor guards."

"Oh weird. Hey where are those kids of yours?"

"At Grandma's drinking gin and playing drunken bingo."

"Oh weird. The odor guards are on Aisle 17. Thanks for shopping at Walmart."



(Today's MockMeat was brought to you by DJ Dan and Radio Moustachio)

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I came across your site while blog surfing around (something I like to do when I'm board :-). You have a really cool blog. If you are interested, go see my funny ebay auctions site. Can you believe people really sell this stuff??

ica said...

Love it. Maybe he'll get offended and start up again.

My only critique is that there weren't any music references and it could use some more exclamation marks.

Rod Renegade said...

!!!AH AH AH AH

??ereh ffuts rof kool yllaer elpoep eveileb ouy naC .etis diputS ym ees og ,detseretni era uoy fI .golb looc yllaer a evah uoY !WOW hO

Conti said...

Jessica,

Yeah true and the post isn't as pink as I'd like. But give me a few posts and I'll get it right.

Melissa said...

Haha, do me! Do me!

Wait, um, you know what I mean.

Ajax said...

Feels the same to me. Good job.

Dean said...

Your comments are way down Mike. This is what happened with homestar runner. Huge for a while, but then just fizzled out. people stopped buying the shirts . You shoudl try somethign new and adventorous. Perhaps bloggin from space.

people need to buy your shirts. My favorite one is the picture of you eating a taco while bloggin at the same time. You don't even care if that peice of lettuce falls in your keyboard.

the pants said...

drunken bingo is so last year, now all the grannies are playing drunken pinochle. grandpas just snag each other with fishing tackles.

i know everything about old people.

Conti said...

Dear Dean the Concerned Machine,

It's the lull before the storm. Just wait.

emertron said...

So do the odor guards work?

fake jr said...

"Mockmeat is better than the original."
- dick butkiss

"Suitable for vegetarians, mockmeat provides a healthy dose of b-12!"
- wavy gravy

"Fried chicken, motherfucker!"
- some dada-ist from berkeley

Anonymous said...

What a great site
Sarcophagus bookcase Suzuki s40 floorboards natural vitamin Baseball tournaments in nc Gebraucht land rover Technology bookkeeping Buy bill pesce bridal online Petals and thorns Graphics card for gamer divorce child custody ex wife vindictive narcissist Forexzocor Second patent Smart roadster seat cover http://www.laptop-batteries-4.info/401k-wikipedia.html ohio divorce papers Novartis blood pressure medicine Oklahoma city divorce lawyer Akron ohio divorce attorney http://www.insurance-for-a-business.info/insurance_needed_to_take_vehicle_into_tijuana.html Sauna essen

Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! health insurance company Effexor liver problems http://www.chevrolet-dealers-4.info Angle chair ramp wheel porsche accessories email filter Usa bosch dishwasher Dodge ramcharger install engine clomid teen jobs Arnold maryland aston martin cars for sale Free+online+classes+on+aging Savage gulf hiking license plate frames