Everyday I wake up to the same noise. It's the beep beep beep I've heard since middle school. I roll out of bed and stand up. It's hard to keep my eyes open while I brush my teeth. I put on whatever shirt I'm wearing that day and zip up my jeans. I flick down the lightswitch and grab a glass of water before I head out for the day.
I wish that were different.
Tomorrow I hope I am awaken to hundreds of screaming fans and tennis balls flying at me. Nitro, the American Gladiator, has deadly aim with that tennis ball gun.
Instead of my boring apartment I'd roll out of my bed and into the American Gladiator battle arena. Nitro would just be shooting ball after ball at me and I'd be doing front rolls and body twists to avoid being nailed. I'd stick my hand out to see how trigger happy ole Nitro is today. Eventually I'd make it to the 3rd station where I'd carefully aim that cannon and hit the bullseye sign and smoke would get all over Nitro's tennis ball gun and he'd be furious. Then at the end of the maze there would be this awesome breakfast for me that Zap made.
Afterwards Larry Czonka would come over and interview me in his tuxedo. I'd take out my mouthpiece and thank God or something. Tower would come over and tell me tommorow morning I was dead meat in the joust.
Then I'd shower with Siren, that Gladiator. Since she's deaf we'd have to sign to each other but it would be hard to do that and shampoo at the same time so we'd laugh about that. Then I'd zipline to my closet and pick which out what color spandex I want to wear that day. (Red? or Blue?).
Instead of my car, I'd get in my huge red ball. I'd roll around that to work while Jazz and Gemini chased me around in big blue balls. (Ahaha no wonder they stopped doing that event mid-series)
That sounds nice, don't it now? Everyday when I got to work and took off my elbow pads and helmet I'd have a huge ass smile on my face. Ear to ear boy, I'll tell you.