9.20.2005

Craig's List is Fun

I've made a post on Craig's list:

http://austin.craigslist.org/m4w/98872386.html

After a few days the listing was removed...not quite sure considering that site is full of dick pictures...anyways, here is what the listing said:

THIS IS NOT A SEXUAL REQUEST. I DO NOT WANT SEX. PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND IF YOU ARE HORNY OR LOOSE.

I'm looking for a group of 4 or 5 sorority girls to jump on my bed for 15-20 minutes one day later this week. I don't care what sorority, as long as there is a blonde or two in the bunch.

All of you girls will be jumping up and down together on my bed. I will NOT join in. I will instead be slouched in the corner of the room watching you as I have a good cry. You will point at me and laugh (not with me, but at me) while I sob.

The louder you laugh the louder I cry. If you'd like you can bring small rocks to throw at me, as well. Please keep in mind that this is not a sad cry...its a good, healthy cry!

The reason I'm making this unusual request is because I'd like to move on with my life. You see...I've graduated college, yet I still think about sorority girls often. When I see one, I get distracted and lose focus on my daily goals. I think watching sorority girls jump on my bed while they point and laugh at me will put a symbolic end to my collegiate failures. Let me know if you can help.

Refreshments will be available before and after the cry. Smoothies, cheese and cracker platter, and chips+salsa will be provided. Looking forward to your response!

1st Response:

Your ad is funny. I'm too old for you and I'm not a sorority girl, but good luck. I hope they respond. Nancy

2nd Response:

sorry, not a sorority girl, but had to tell you that your post cracked me up. not in a bad "ha ha, look at that dork" way; more of a "that was the most amusing thing ive read all day. why does he think hes a failure, though????"enlighten me? promise i wont tell....jenn

29 comments:

Conti said...

Great post, me

Anonymous said...

agreed.

me
liron

el Phil said...

haha, nice one mike. However I don't think your college experience was a failure.

Remember: sexless = success!

erin said...

god that is hilarious.

AJ Gentile said...

Ha!

Already flagged it for "Best of"

Ajax said...

Great blog! Check out mine when you get a chance. Retard Volleyball.

bob said...

conti : how you post these audio files ?

Melissa said...

Last night I got hella drunk and that Gasolina song came on the radio. I called you but you didn't answer. I was so sad I had to go buy a gallon and drink it all by myself.

Conti said...

bob: via cell phone

melissa: haha, you shoulda left a krunkafied message

emertron said...

What if you were a sorority girl? Do you have to be in school to participate? Do the girls all have to be from the same house? Could they be from same house, different chapters? Seriously, Conti, you need to specify these things. You didn't even say that they didn't have to be fat sorority girls. Some sorority girls are fat, you know.

Please include stipulations,
emmy

Melissa said...

You'd probably want some Delta Zetas, you know, the EZ DZs.

TinaPoPo said...

Or the SDTs, more commonly known as the STD's.

ica said...

Pretty funny stuff!

You should check out www.derekerdman.com He's done somewhat similar things in the form of prank phone calls and writing letters to prisoners.

Conti said...

I hope a DG emails me.

Delta Gamma Dick Grabber

See yaaaa

bob said...

conti : thanx

Christine said...

I think you might have a chance. Tomorrow you could get a response from a bunch of kinky swedish sorority girls. What would you do, Mike? I can picture you in the corner crying, but crying tears of joy as you watch those hotties jump. Their massive breasts bouncing, maybe one sorority girl could fall on her sister and then they could start making out with tongues and boobie rubbing action. Instead of throwing rocks at you, they might want to give you a nice spanking on that ass...

Oh goodness, I apologize. I get carried away sometimes. Oh how embarrassing. ;)

fusselman's rabbit said...

there are books about how fucked up sorority life can be, i haven't read them, but i've heard things. this makes me somewhat of an expert.

Tim said...

hey, can you tell the Astros to lose a few games? Thanks!

el Bow said...

do it yourself psychotherapy - I love it.

Conti said...

why are these shitty nonsorority babes emailing me?

Conti said...

Make sure and say a prayer for all the families in Houston (including the Conti's) who are in danger this weekend.

Rod Renegade said...

Hey... they REMOVED your post... I never got to read it. Awwwwww.

Tim said...

good luck contis. And F craigslist for removing your post!

Sean said...

crap i wanted to read it. first time i have made it to your blog and i can't get teh whole experience. what did it say?

AHHHHHH.

Conti said...

Sean,

No worries. I'll post it when I get home.

Conti said...

Also,

How come people can post pictures of their dicks asking for sex on craigs list but I can't post that?

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