I took a bubble bath today.
Normally I clean my body by showering. But I was demoted.
It was a self-demotion really, but it was still embarassing.
I was demoted from showering because for the last 6 or 7 showers, I'd turn off the water and start to towel off before looking in the mirror and discovering that my hair was still covered in shampoo.
I'm not even joking, either. It's seriously happened the last 6 or 7 days.
And what's even more pathetic is I shaved my head about 2 weeks ago. I have very little hair right now. It'd be a different story if I had long beautiful hair like Jesus or Natalie Portman or something. It takes very little water to accomplish a proper rinse. I'm in quite a slump...Normally I'm a very good showerer.
So back to bathing for me. Simplify things until I get my mechanics back.
Taking a bubble bath is pretty gay. I put in bubbles, dimmed my bathroom lights, and listened to the Garden State soundtrack with my eyes closed. I was 2 scented candles away from my crank inverting. It was lovely though.
Straight guys do gay things all the time.
Once my old roommate Phil and I were eating fudgicles. "Let's pretend like its Tim Duncan's dick," he said to me, midlick.
Probably the gayest straight guy I know is Ahmed. Once about 15 people were over at my place watching a football game. A receiver made a great play, and Ahmed said aloud:
"I'd like to assfuck that player, right now." Normally you would think that was a joke but he was rubbing his chest and had a funny look on his face.
Even this real tough guy I know named Savisky acts gay once and a while. Once I caught him sitting in his truck smoking a cigarette listening to Enrique Iglesias - Escape as loud as his stereo would go. His cigarette dangled from his mouth as he sang along.
The only non-gay at all person I know is Dean The Machine. The Machine is a true man. I dare you to try and manhug The Machine. He'll give you the double-hammer. The Machine won't even put bait on another mans fishing hook. Jeez - He once killed an Asian guy because he didn't know who Brett Favre was.