I went to a toga party once, in college. Except I didn't have a toga. Neither did The Factor or The Machine. The 3 of us got together and had a fashion meeting after playing some Smash Brothers on the GameCube.

"I don't want to wear a toga," I said aloud. "Let's do something different."
The Machine nodded. The Factor grabbed his car keys.


I'm in the lobster costume. The Factor is the kangaroo. Dean is the hotdog.

Haha how awesome did we look? We kept it a secret so everyone at the party starting going crazy when we showed up. You can't see our faces so no one knew who the hell we were at first. People were freaked out when I said their name and gave them a claw five.

Being drunk and in a lobster costume is a lot of work. It's like 125 degrees in there and it's hard to breathe. It's also incredibly hard to hold a beer with lobster claws. Factor was very happy with his costume selection, because he could put beers in his pouch.

The Factor enjoying a cold one.

The best part of the night was dancing. I could dance like an asshole because I was a lobster. You can't see it but Dean's hot dog costume pretty much covered all but 6 inches of his legs. He couldn't really move well, but that didn't stop him from dancing. I blacked out a few times from watching a jumping hotdog in the middle of the dance floor. Seriously - it was the funniest thing I have ever seen. The hotdog just jumped up and down.

Dean hanging out with Mike Bascope in his toga. Bonus: Nipple!

I told a girl I danced with that I wanted her number but I couldn't get it because my lobster claws made it impossible to input it into my cell phone. I don't remember how the night ended, exactly. But I know it was one of the greatest nights ever. The life of a lobster is so so sweet, and I know that will not be the last time I spend a night as one.


Ajax said...

Bonus nipple.

Champagne and Ripple?

Tim said...


Jeff said...

i remember that night well...clad in my toga i remember seeing you enter..i was strangely turned on..shawn stoller had his video camera and he started filming...then we made sweet lobster love as we had for many years...that video is somewhere at stoller's place...we must see it again

the next morning i had to run from my english class to throw up...and i wondered..was it the massive intake of alcohol...or was it...a lobster baby in my womb???

to be continued...

emertron said...

Holy crap. You just made me so excited for Halloween!!!!!!!!!!! Plan preblog reading: Eddie & Patsy from Abs Fab
Plan postblog reading: Maybe a random animal

Conti said...

Ajax- Yes and the milkage

Tim- twas

Jeff- haha I forgot you were there. I would LOVE to get that footage considering I don't remember very much about the 2nd half of the night

Grant Wench- Dressing up as a random animal is fun for Halloween, but even MORE fun for just some random day. Also...do you have a blogg address?

erin said...

oh my god i need a lobster costume. if you own it please raffle it off. please please pretty please with a cherry on it?

Conti said...


For the last 2 years I've periodically checked ebay to see if a lobster costume goes on sale. If I get one I'll be wearing it everyday so I won't want to raffle it off.

Diana said...

I kind of know the feeling. Not as a lobster, but as a donkey.


emertron said...

OMG Conti! That's it! One random Friday night I will show up at like the local dive in an animal costume. You are a GENIUS!!!!

BTW: www.youdontknowmymiddlename.blogspot.com

Christine said...

I want a cool animal costume too. What about a Baboon?! Yea, I could freak everybody out with my gnarly Baboon ass.