I went on a date last night with a girl that I've never seen before.
We met at a bar.
It was an uber Austin club where hip kids who hate George Bush sit and drink Lone Star Beer. They smoke cigarettes and think about how their dads never hugged them enough.
I was wearing a pink (yet manly) shirt and looking fucking outstanding.
Anyways this girl walks in and we meet.
I'm not that attracted to her. Pretty cute face. She's kinda big but her boobs stick out more than her stomach so I'm not freaking. Also, she has a back tattoo of 2 faces with 1 head of hair. Not a good looking tat.
We sit down and chat. Actually, she chats. I listen and sit like a sexy silent bitch.
I don't think we were talking for 3 minutes before she asked if I do drugs.
"Umm no. No I don't really."
I can tell she is disappointed by non-drug-use. I will not be taking this girl to Red Lobster. I will not be finding out the name of her vagina. She is not my special someone.
She talks some more and blah blah blah. By this time it was 10pm and I haven't eaten since noon. I was pretty much spacing out from blood sugar. After 2 drinks I was tipsy and tired of listening to uninteresting chatter. A bored Conti is a dangerous Conti...
She was in the middle of telling me a story about how her friend hadn't been the same after he took 50 hits of acid when I interrupted her.
"Hey you knows what's weird? We both have beauty marks (read: mole) in the same place on our chin."
"Actually mine's a zit."
Wow. Hahaha. Yikes.
Somehow we continued the conversation. It was going better until this happened:
"Yeah, I never want to have kids. Never."
"You say that now, but I guarentee in 6 or 7 years you'll want them."
"Oh sure you will."
"No. NEVER. I can't even think about it. STOP. "
Then she stood up and stormed off. She thrusted out of her chair and just ran off. I was confused and happy. Confused as to what had just happened. Happy that this boring night turned blog worthy.
I kind of looked around with a "WTF? Did anyone else just see that?" expression on my face. I sipped my Tecate and checked my watch. She came back 3 minutes later.
"I'm sorry about that. That was my psychotic side. That's just a button of mine. A really big button. There is a girl I work with that is 9 months pregnant and I can't even look at her. I will just never have kids. Never. "
I smiled and pretended like I understood why she just flipped out. Then I got up and closed my tab. It was time to go.
The goodbye was brief.
"Well it was nice meeting you."
"Thanks for the drinks."
"Have a good night!"