I hung a sword on my pot rack. If anyone invades me I'll just run to the sword and start stabbing people.
Download Z-ro feat. Lil Keke - Sunshine. Its a great song created by terrific Houstonians.
I pulled into my parking spot the other day and noticed a guy moving into my complex. He was sweating like crazy, and struggling with a couch that he was trying to lift off a truck. "Hey buddy...you need any help with that?" Here I am a big strong dude willing to help...but he says: "Oh no, no that's ok...my wife is coming down to help." "Oh...Okay."
I was walking to a bar on 6th when a girl started hitting me with an inflattable penis.
Rook isn't a very good stalker. At a small bar, he lost track of a 6ft2 hottie with a gold medal.
After work I turned on my car. The thermostat on my dashboard read 107 degrees. I thought it was because my car had been sitting in the sun for a few hours. I roll down all the windows to get the heat out and blast the a.c. 10 minutes later the dashboard read 108. It's hot in Texas, ya'll.
Breasts are really fun to look and think about.
Shhhhhhh....here come the Houston Astros.
I was food shopping and in the bakery section. This shithead old man drops a piece of fresh bread while he's bagging it. He reached down and grabs the bread and angerly gets another bag. Then he puts the bread from the floor back on the rack, and grabs a fresh piece! Are you kididng me old man?
I think thats the end of this unclog.