7.10.2005

Various Sunday Unclog So I Can Start Fresh Monday

I hung a sword on my pot rack. If anyone invades me I'll just run to the sword and start stabbing people.

Download Z-ro feat. Lil Keke - Sunshine. Its a great song created by terrific Houstonians.

I pulled into my parking spot the other day and noticed a guy moving into my complex. He was sweating like crazy, and struggling with a couch that he was trying to lift off a truck. "Hey buddy...you need any help with that?" Here I am a big strong dude willing to help...but he says: "Oh no, no that's ok...my wife is coming down to help." "Oh...Okay."

I was walking to a bar on 6th when a girl started hitting me with an inflattable penis.

Rook isn't a very good stalker. At a small bar, he lost track of a 6ft2 hottie with a gold medal.

After work I turned on my car. The thermostat on my dashboard read 107 degrees. I thought it was because my car had been sitting in the sun for a few hours. I roll down all the windows to get the heat out and blast the a.c. 10 minutes later the dashboard read 108. It's hot in Texas, ya'll.

Breasts are really fun to look and think about.

Shhhhhhh....here come the Houston Astros.

I was food shopping and in the bakery section. This shithead old man drops a piece of fresh bread while he's bagging it. He reached down and grabs the bread and angerly gets another bag. Then he puts the bread from the floor back on the rack, and grabs a fresh piece! Are you kididng me old man?

IHTIGOAFDWAM.

I think thats the end of this unclog.

14 comments:

Tim said...

If I weren't from philly and thereby forced to like the suckass phillies, I'd like the astros. Their pitching staff is awesome. They struggled to score runs while berkman was out, but you're right, here they come.

Conti said...

Tim,

The pitching staff is a lot of fun to watch. And the offense is coming around. You're right about Lance - Berkman is the man. Ensberg is a stud. And for the first time in 15 years we have a true lead-off man...Willy Tavaras...batting .295 with great speed.

Rumors have us picking up a bat before the deadline. I'm excited for the 2nd half.

The old Phillies haven't quite put it together. Could we borrow Abreau and Wagner for the rest of the season? I mean they came up in our farm system...

Rook said...

Mike, I understand your sadness regarding the loss of the 6 ft 2 hottie Olympian, I was distressed too. However, let it be known that Olympians dont become Olympians without being very sneaky. I think she was onto us and made a couple of rights and left to fake us out before she left. She probably recognized me from my facebook message to her. Is it wrong to want to go to the ESPY's with a hottie, I think not.

Also, how bout Lane, Burke and Wandy Rodriguez for Abreau.

Tim said...

You can have Wagner if we can have Lidge. Wagner's not quite the stud he was 2 years ago and Lidge K's a lot more guys.

Abreu is a stud though. We won't give him up. Ensberg is the man, and Biggio is still the man even though he's like 65 years old.

Ajax said...

Like, chicken breasts? I hear ya, bro.

Rook said...

We got rid of ol Billy once, I dont think we need him again. And Biggio is only 62, Bagwell is 65.

Melissa said...

I hate old people

Mike said...

Old people are pretty gay. He was real violent with the bag too. It was bizzare.

Mike said...

Wouldn't it be studly if Bagwell came back and played like he did in 98? You have to give the guy credit, he's played the last 3 years without a shoulder.

I'd trade John Franco for Wagner, and use Wags as a set-up man. There aren't a ton of guys with moustachios on the Phillies, so that would be a fair trade.

Tim said...

we haven't had a good mustache on our team since mike schmidt.

Conti said...

For my money Jeff Kent has the best moustache in baseball.

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