I live in the hills.
Tommorow I'm going to go on the hill and lay down.
I'm going to pretend to be dead.
I'm just going to lay on the hill and pretend to be dead.
I'm going to wander around the thick brush for a while, and find a nice spot with good soil.
Then I'm going to lay down, and pretend to be dead. I'm not going to smile or move or breathe and I'm going to try not and think any thoughts. I'm just going to pretend I'm dead on the hillside. I hope it's as neat as it sounds.
I don't want to actually be dead, but this is just something I need to do.
Ideally some hikers will come across me and panic. Maybe they poke me with a hiking stick or even pour water on my face.
Worst case scenario a shitty cougar leaps out of a tree and starts attacking at me with claws and fangs.
That would be pretty gay but I'm going to risk it anyway.
I'll let you know how it goes.