7.08.2005

I live in the hills.

Tommorow I'm going to go on the hill and lay down.

I'm going to pretend to be dead.

I'm just going to lay on the hill and pretend to be dead.

I'm going to wander around the thick brush for a while, and find a nice spot with good soil.

Then I'm going to lay down, and pretend to be dead. I'm not going to smile or move or breathe and I'm going to try not and think any thoughts. I'm just going to pretend I'm dead on the hillside. I hope it's as neat as it sounds.

I don't want to actually be dead, but this is just something I need to do.

Ideally some hikers will come across me and panic. Maybe they poke me with a hiking stick or even pour water on my face.

Worst case scenario a shitty cougar leaps out of a tree and starts attacking at me with claws and fangs.

That would be pretty gay but I'm going to risk it anyway.

I'll let you know how it goes.

13 comments:

Conti said...

You're pretty gay, Mike.

Mike said...

Shut it, you

Todd said...

he he you always say that

Tim said...

what if the cougar is gay and he wants to do something other than attack you?

Conti said...

I'm glad you asked that question, Tim. I'd be open to a sexual experience with a handsome cougar. With fur so sleek, and sophisticated whiskers, how could I thwart his advances?

Melissa said...

Okay, that's just sick, Mike. I was about to say that you probably know me because we've probably made out downtown but then you made that comment and that totally turned me off. :(

Ajax said...

Gay cougars are pretty hot, but I wouldn't want one living in my neighborhood.

Conti said...

Sorry Melissa,

Don't worry though. Soon I'll write a real sensual post that will get you hot for me all over...

Christine said...

YaY!! :)

Hey Mike, I would have poked you with a stick...


..And then I would've licked it! ;)

Christine said...

The stick, I mean. Heh

Conti said...

Penny Lane,

Do you lick sticks often?

Sorry I had too...you way set me up for that one...

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