7.31.2005

George Bushrito

A girl that hates the president made me a burrito today. She had a hat on and probably weighed about 96 lbs. I could whip her ass in a race. Her legs were soo small. I knew that she hated the president because she was wearing a pin that had the face of the president on it, but it had an X mark on it. I wish people would only use X marks to mark where pirates treasure is. I started digging at this girls chest because of that X. I thought there might be treasure under that X. I love me some pirates treasure. But instead there were just small boobs under that X. Boy did I get in a lot of trouble. Apparently you aren't allowed to take off shirts of burrito makers. Yikes. Didn't learn that one in 11th grade Criminal Justice. Luckily I could whip the ass of the burrito manager in a race. Because he chased me. Yikes. Other than some guac-on-shorts, I got away free.

That's not the first time I got a got in trouble because of X marks the spot. Once I injured a black guy on accident, looking for treasure. The guy had a shirt on that said Malcolm X. I thought maybe this guy was a robot, and inside the robot there was some gold for Malcolm. Well I wanted to get to the gold before Malcolm did. Yikes.

Do you remember the time when Indiana Jones was looking for a treasure in this old library? He saw this X on the floor and he started digging there. After some shitty rats and dusty skeletons (ever heard of lysol, librarians - LOL), he found this badass tablet that some king wrote a note on. It was a pretty good treasure, I guess.

Ideally the next time I see an X, I'll start digging and find an X-box. Wouldn't that be kind of neat? An Xbox for the X-marks-the-spot?

Hey look there is an X on my keyboard! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxxxxx xXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Haha that was me making a joke. Did you get that joke? I was pretending like I was digging under the X on my keyboard because I was pretending like there was some treasure under it. And the reason there were so many x's was because I was pressing it so much to try and get under it. You have to be really smart to get that joke.

21 comments:

Ajax said...

This post was better than ABC's Sunday Night Movie.

Melissa said...

1) He didn't dig, he slammed onto the concrete with a post.
2) It wasn't a tablet, it was a tomb.
Gah Conti, get it right! Ugh!

el Bow said...

You totally owe me a new screen for my laptop. I started scratching away at all those X's with a fork. You should have known better.

Tim said...

Every time I buy a porn I think there's going to be three treasures under it because of the XXX. And well, there usually is.

Conti said...

Tim-

The same can be said with the XX on Dos Equies beers.

emertron said...

You know, that was really rude of burrito girl, to wear an X on her shirt. She should know by now that X is the international symbol for digging. Maybe when you have a boog you should put an X on your nose & let somebody find the treasure & then laugh at them when they realize that their treasure is your boog. Ha ha ha ha.

the pants said...

did you get a free burrito out of it too? that is the real prize.

Christine said...

X

Conti said...

What a cruel joke, Penny Lane.

jtm said...

you are hysterical. rey mysterio is an amazing athlete. www.figure4legblog.blogspot.com

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Hoodia said...

Help me Dude, I think I'm lost..... I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him in a car lot yesterday, which is really strange because the last time I saw him was in the supermarket. No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender". He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a San Diego cosmetic surgery doctor ,to fit into those blue suede shoes of yours. But Elvis said in the Ghetto nobody can afford a San Diego plastic surgery doctor. Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger. Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch a waaaay cool make-over show featuring some Tijuana dentists on the TV in the back of my Hummer. And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . . "You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on " Strange day or what? :-)

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