7.27.2005

Family Splatters

Last night I dreamt that Hariett Winslow was watching me on the toilet, while I was taking a shit. She was watching me closely, and shooting me FUCK-ME eyes. She was really lustful looking, and I knew that she wanted me badly. I was obviously very uncomfortable. I mean who knew Hariett Winslow was into that type of thing? I just kinda sat there...even in my dreams I don't like going to the bathroom around other people. Was she going to watch me wipe? Gross. How did she even get in the bathroom...I thought I locked the door? I wonder if she did the same thing to Urkel, or if she only did this with white boys. Did Karl know about this? Karl has a gun...I DO NOT WANT HIM TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS. I needed Waldo to walk in for some comic relief.

Geez I can't believe she put me through that. I've never kissed a black girl. I don't want Hariett Winslow to be my first. Maybe one of Eddie's ex-girlfriends would be good. Aisha Tyler or Beyonce would be ideal. I'd settle for Hariett's daughter though. The one that Urkel was obsessed with. I'd probably smooch her while drunk and then brag to Urkel. "Did I do that?"

5 comments:

The Other Half said...

maybe she wanted to HELP you wipe

Conti said...

Double Gross, Wendi.

Melissa said...

I bet she'd say "Mmm, hmm, I knew you could do it!" and pat you on the back.

Ajax said...

I had a dream once.

Christine said...

I'll never watch that show the same way again. Actually, I'll never watch that show again.