At work today I started a gang. The MAC's.

M otherfuckin'
A narchy
C rosstowners

So far its me and the fax machine. We represent.

If you cross us we'll give you a papercut thrashing you won't forget. I'm talking all over the body, bro. Drop white-out in your eyeballs. Force you to type a long document until you have carpal tunnel. You say something I don't like, you get an invoice. Down your throat. Oh you're still talking? Hold on while I grab my Swingline. This is serious shit mother fucker.

We'll switch your Non-Toxic Tacky Finger with Toxic Tacky Finger. It'll be hard to make a photocopy when theres a jam. A 'Your Right Arm' Jam. I'll make you eat paperclips until you puke out a coat hanger. And we won't stop at you. We'll send unusual email attachments to your family. I'll have the fax machine call your house and make those loud annoying noises when your daughter picks up. And that picture of your family you keep on top of your monitor? Ruined by pink highlighter.

It's a gang motherfucker, a gang. MAC's for life.

If you want in just give me a call. 1-800-266-6996

Extension 666


Melissa said...

I so need in on this. Is there an initiation?

Tim said...

I called that number, and... well, I think a phone sex company is moving in on your territory.

Ali said...

I think you need to make an Office Space sequel. Get all this rage out of the system :)

Conti said...

Phone Sex? Oh that was probably just my co-worker Michelle. She's friendly.

butterscotch said...

I have a gang too- Social Parasites (self explanatory).
My gang will duel your gang anyday.

Conti said...

What are the attributes of the Social Parasites? Who's in your gang?

I could easily see the MACs dominating the SPs in every aspect of life.

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