Hello Mr. Goat, I hope you are having a lovely day in your pasture here. I just wanted to thank you for sharing with me some of your cheese. Your cheese is my favorite, Mr. Goat. May I give you a hug, my hairy dairy creator? Your goatee looks very shiny today. I can tell you are very clean and I'd love to eat everything that you produce, Mr. Goat. Gosh I love your cheese, Mr. Goat. I eat your soft utter product with salads, pizzas, chickens, breads, and crackers! In my opinion, Mr. Goat, cow cheese is lumpy and gross compared to your lovely cream. If there were a goat cheese flavored breakfast cereal, I'd eat it. I'd hope they put your respectable face on the box, Mr. Goat. I must go now, Mr. Goat, but before I leave I'd like to stroke your hide and say a quick prayer in your pressence. Good bye now, Mr. Goat.
I got drunk last night and started kicking crackers all over my apartment. I wasn't angry at the crackers. They were just in the way of my feet. I'm okay with acting violent towards them, because they really don't go well with goat cheese. I love goat cheese. If I could talk with a goat right now this is what I would say: