DJ Conti

I went to Detroit this weekend. It was totally fun.

My cousins Natalie and Jerrod graduated HS, and so we had a Conti family quasi-reunion. Natalie had a graduation party. There was bar-b-q and ice cream.

In the middle of the party I decided I needed a haircut. My cousin Justin brought his clippers so he shaved my hair in the middle of a cul-de-sac. I was eating a Spiderman ice cream. 30 people watched me get the haircut. They gathered around and just laughed. They were really impressed, I guess. Justin gave me a tight shave...saved me $15. Some hair got on my Spiderman ice cream but I ate it anyway.

It was really good to see the whole family. Since they are all up north I don't see them as much as I'd like.

Traveling alone is a lot of fun, I think. I love being alone in the airport. It's just a good feeling to me.

And everytime I get on a plane I always half-way hope that we crash land on the water. I could go out on one of those floatie raft things. Take my shirt off and get a tan. Some waverunner would come by and drag me and I'd go crazy tubing. Float to a krunk island and tell exotic ladies that I'm a handsome cast-away that they should sleep with. I could easily see that being a swell time.

When we were coming back to Austin, I had to land the plane. I saw the pilot was a shithead and I knew it was up to me to land safely. You know how you are supposed to turn off all electronics or else it will interfere with the planes instruments? I turned on my CD player when we started the final descent. Fwd Track - Fwd Track - Shuffle - Pause - Bass Boom - Fwd Track - Vol Down - Vol Down - Rev Track - Stop. We landed safe, thanks to me.

Last night I was on college radio. Seegs invited me to join in a sports talk. It was a lot of fun. I'm very good at radio. I make witty comments and deep insight. Our audience was in laugh riot when I chatted. It was a lot of fun to have a microphone when you are called Mike. That makes for an automatic hilarious joke. I could easily see myself becoming a famous DJ like Jim Rome and Howard Stern.

The only problem was the fat kid who talked to much. The first hour the other 2 guys and I did a good job of combatting him and contributing to the show. Then the second hour we wore down and it was one-hour-pure-fat-kid. It was pretty gross because he told us about his birthday and his travel plans. I'm sure the 6 people listening weren't impressed. It was also gross because his jean shorts were unzipped. And he wasn't wearing underwear. I really don't want to think about that anymore. :( :((((((((


Rook said...

I listend to the radio last night for a few minutes at like 830ish, I did not hear a voice that I recognized as you. I did however recognize that when talking about the NBA, Seegs has no idea what he is talking about. Can you tell me where to get a spiderman popsicle from around here? I need a haircut again, is your cuz available, Ill fly him down from Motown, itll prolly save me some money. Lets play basketball again some time since you have a new haircut you'll be aerodynamic. One last thing did you see any koalas in Detroit, I heard they hang around in the tree outside Eminems house.

Conti said...

Rook -

We talked NBA the last hour, when I had given up on the talking over the fat unzipped kid.

Also I don't know where you can get a spiderman popsicle in ATX. Maybe the SuperWalmart? Maybe San Marcos?

I'd like to play basketball soon. What about tommorow? Today I have to run a zillion errands that I've been putting off. But I look forward to moving more quickly because of my sleek head.

My cousin is in North Carolina this week - so you'll have to fly him in from there. Check Continentall.com for prices out of Raleigh. He did a real good job, too. Totally worth it.

Its funny you ask about koalas. I did not see any. When I was getting my hair cutt in the cul-de-sac, a baby bunny hopped out a hole. My sister tried to kill it, I think for some reason.

wow long comment

Tim said...

Castaways get tons of chicks. I thought pilots did too, so you should work that angle on chicks now that you can land planes.

Ajax said...

How gay are sports?

Conti said...

I didn't even think about that Tim. Thanks, bud. I could easily see myself nabbing a chick that loves fly-flying muscle men.

Conti said...


Even more gay than a 3 penis salad.

Ghassene said...

Greetings Simian

Would you like to join the Visual Art & Thought Collective É
send us your email for an invite, hope to see you there soon!

Transcend High Command

Melissa said...

I heard you on the radio.I turned the radio on and thought "Hey, that sounds like Conti" even though I don't know what you sound like but I stay up at night and imagine what your voice sounds like and the guy on the radio sounded like the guy I imagine you to be.Oooh, t.m.i?

Melissa said...

I just read the comment you left on Ultra's blog and I'm dying of laughter.I knew it was you even before clicking on your homepage, I'm the new Sherlock Holmes

butterscotch said...

you got tagged for transcend!
go go go!

Rook said...

Jean shorts are awesome, I wish i wasnt too cool for school and still had some. Freeballin is the only way to go in jorts baby, get with the program Mikey.

Conti said...

High Command - I'll look into this Transcend. I actually had to work today so I couldn't act like an asshole and blog around.

Melissa - Haha...why does that girl get so many comments on her site? Fucking 90 comments? Are you kidding me? I don't get it.

Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! http://www.video-surveillance-1.info Blockers free spyware popup blocker Smoking pot while taking antidepressants free pop up blocker trial zithromax