Ahmed had a crush on Jennifer Bouldin. Hell, everyone did. She was Clements High School's hottest girl. Head cheerleader and honors student. It was a Friday night and the big news for the day was that Jennifer and Alex Sweeney, the captain of the football team and all-american jew, had broken up after a 2-year relationship.

The Machine, Ahmed, and I were hanging out upstairs at The Machine's place. It was Friday and we weren't popular, so we just sat in the dark. The lights were never on at The Machines place, for some reason.

Ahmed was in a really wierd mood. Wierder than normal. He was playing songs on an electric keyboard. Ahmed doesn't know how to read music or play the piano though, so his songs were very unique. He would change the sound settings from "Funky Jazz" to "Robot Metal" and back again. Here and there he would sing something that didn't make sense to anyone but himself.

In the dark this conversation was had:

Machine: "Hey Ahmed, did you hear that Jennifer Boldin and Alex Sweeney broke up today?"

Me: "Yeah...now's your chance Ahmed. Are you going to ask her out?"

Ahmed: (stops playing the keyboard) "Man." (pause) "You can't put a minor leaguer in a major league ball park."


(Funky Jazz notes start up)


Ajax said...

Fuck dude everybody had a crush on Jennifer Bouldin.

Clare said...

I just started reading your blog: You are hilarious, thanks for writing. BUT, I bet your family quasi-reunion was not in Detroit, because I lived in Detroit, and I know that all the white kids and culs-de-sac are in the suburbs. I'm going to guess Macomb County, maybe Sterling Heights. Am I right?

Melissa said...

Jenny B was so damn hot

Conti said...

Clare -

Thank you so much for funny. Haha you caught me...I was a good 40 minutes from the Detroit airport, anyways.

Does Dearborn Heights make sense? I think that sounds right...

Conti said...

I meant:

Thank you so much for reading.

It was 746 am.

ya know?

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