Things to do this weekend:

  • find a new apartment
  • clean my room
  • exercise
  • brush my teeth with gasoline
  • bathe in 9 gallons of gasoline
  • pretend to drink a glass of gasoline
  • soak all my computer equipment in gasoline
  • pay the phone bill
  • pour gasoline on my welcome mat that way if I open the door and I see an enemy or a magazine salesman I can light a match, throw it down, close the door, and hear screams of surprised burning from the comfort of my living room
  • buy some towels, and maybe a pair of sneakers


Peach said...

Is gasoline good at removing tartar? I never would have guessed. And I like your strategy for dealing with magazine salesmen - perhaps you should patent the idea.

Scubes said...

Ordinarily I'd say go nuts with the gasoline, but since we're nearing an energy crisis, I'm going to have to suggest killing magazine salesmen with renewable energy sources.

Try a giant magnifying glass to roast them like ants in the sun.

Ajax said...

I love gasoline, too. Have you ever siphoned gas out of a car? You should. It's great. I'm not even kidding.

Love yr blogg.